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306 seconds of intense knowledge on Stuart Holden

Apr 12, 2012, 3:14 PM EDT

Stuart Holden

Let’s hope the following video isn’t all we see in coming months of the Bolton and U.S. national team midfielder, still on the mend from a knee injury that will keep him out for the duration of England’s season.

But if this is all we see of him – it’s a pretty good look. It’s not long, just 5 minutes and 6 seconds, but it’s vacuum packed with the lore and lowdown of all things Stuart Holden.

If he was falling into a northern England well, this is what he might see in “life flashing before eyes” fashion.

Here’s a taste of randomly selected illumination:

  • Hates snakes, loves fluffy bunnies
  • Motto: “Play hard or go home”
  • Picks nose (those presumably never in public), and the life cycle of buggers perplexes him
  • It’s apparently very cold inside his apartment in Bolton
  • Music? Everything, but lately into indie rock
  • He once pretended he was in a choir to please his mom; had to lip synch in the back row to pull it off
  • Man crush on Brad Pitt
  • Baseball or cricket? Neither
  • The King loves him some Stuart Holden. The Burger King, that is.

He’s definitely not a man afraid to interact with fans – which is probably one of the reasons everyone is cheering so hard for Holden to get back to good health… and right quick.

Here’s the latest ep of No Holden Back, courtesy of Kick TV:

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