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Warning: hideous images ahead as Dominic Oduro shows he is ridiculously fast

Apr 13, 2012, 8:30 PM EDT

No children or small animals were harmed in the making of the following video.

On the other hand, emotional scarring cannot be ruled out for watching the thing.

Dominic Oduro may or may not be the fastest may in MLS. I’d wager my Chicago Fire Quaker Oats jersey (Prized and personalized!) that Colorado’s Marvell Wynne could make a great race of it, at very least.

But we know for sure that Oduro can beat a couple of pasty white guys, including one in a Royal Tenenbaums headband and pink muscle shirt. Yes, it’s quite a hideous and disturbing site.

Thanks to Chicago Fire communications man Brendan Hannan for giggles on this one. And let us all pray for his torn hammy. He did a remarkable job of hiding it – but I think we can all feel the tear as we watch this fiasco unfold.

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