May 3, 2012, 8:21 AM EDT
Back during the 2006 World Cup, each day’s first business was to remember which German city I was in. Such is the go-go, train-travel intensive pace of covering a World Cup.
On the days I awoke in glorious and underrated Hamburg, where the U.S. team was based, my next steps were toward the nearby town center for strong coffee, quick eats and a fast newspaper catch-up session.
And that’s where, on a sunny summer day, I learned how wonderfully, comically impossible the England managerial job really is.
Sven-Goran Eriksson’s England side was failing to properly impress in Germany. He had already announced plans to step down after the World Cup, and the headline writers would soon be bashing England’s laggard performance and the outgoing manager: Sod off, Sven, and don’t come back wrote the Daily Star. The Sun was more succinct: Goodbye, tosser.
But that wasn’t the revelation, not the “aha moment” of clarity where I understood the impossible slog that awaited any England boss.
Steven McClaren had already been named to successor. England was not yet out, so Eriksson was still officially in charge on the morning I saw this headline in one paper from London:
You read it here first: McClaren must go!
I stood and giggled. And I understood. Nothing will ever be good enough. Not for England’s perpetually inflated sense of its soccer self.
Here was a piece declaring all the reasons why McClaren’s reign over the Three Lions was already fatally flawed – all based on speculative personnel politics. You could say they were right in the end – but you also could argue self-fulfilling prophecy on a grand scale might be at work.
Yes, Roy Hodgson now faces the insurmountable England managerial mountain. The untenable media scrutiny is bad enough. (Remember, Luiz Felipe Scolari could have had the job in 2006 but was essentially scared away by media meanies.) But it’s the inflated expectations, the feeling that England should always do better and perennially underachieves – never mind if England does just fine, all things reasonably considered.
Eriksson went to two World Cup quarterfinals and a Euro quarterfinal, not too shabby for a country of England’s size. And they despised that guy!
In the wonderful book Soccernomics, Simon Kuper and Stefan Szymanski devoted an entire chapter to the England soccer condition. Essentially, they wrote, England does fine considering its size – even if the prevailing public winds blow hard of underachievement. And based on a wide sample of results, they write, there is rarely a reason to believe that something better is in the works in the next World Cup or Euro Championships. And yet, believe they do. Habitually.
And should we list the England men who have been wildly overrated? Nothing straps the anchor chain around a manager’s ankle like players who aren’t really all that on a global scale – yet they are lauded as world beaters when combined with these fellow overrated men.
What does that mean for the manager? I think we know.
So I’ll just say it here, and be the first to do so:
Roy Hodgson must go!
Honestly, I don’t even know why. But I’m sure someone in England will tell me soon.
This is a great history I dug up of past England managers, and how their buses got sideswiped along the England managerial motorway.
Sep 21, 2014, 7:02 PM EDT
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Sep 21, 2014, 5:48 PM EDT
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Sep 21, 2014, 5:09 PM EDT
Mesut Ozil and Danny Welbeck scored and assisted each other during the Gunners 3-0 win over Aston Villa.
Sep 21, 2014, 4:30 PM EDT
Alessandro Florenzi hugged and kissed his grandmother in the Stade Olimpico stands following his goal in AS Roma’s 2-0 victory over Cagliari.
Sep 21, 2014, 3:34 PM EDT
Everton manager Roberto Martinez laments loss to Crystal Palace, saying that his squad lost its drive for victory.
Sep 21, 2014, 3:06 PM EDT
One England international paid respects to another as a legend scored an emotional goal for his new team against his old.
Sep 21, 2014, 1:55 PM EDT
We didn’t see this coming, and neither did Frank Lampard.
Sep 21, 2014, 12:57 PM EDT
Pablo Zabaleta’s second yellow card changed the game, but a former Chelsea legend came back to haunt them.
Sep 21, 2014, 12:55 PM EDT
Everton started early and saw much of the ball but Crystal Palace got a few breaks and took advantage to pick up their first win of the season.
Sep 21, 2014, 11:21 AM EDT
Mario Balotelli put an LOL up on Twitter at Manchester United’s expense, and subjected himself to some horrible racial abuse.
Sep 21, 2014, 10:57 AM EDT
Despite heavy defeat, United’s new attacker scores goal of the season contender.
Sep 21, 2014, 10:51 AM EDT
Everton has sewn the seeds for a good run of form and are hoping to build on recent success against a struggling Palace squad.
Sep 21, 2014, 10:42 AM EDT
Diego Costa hsa been in fantastic form to begin his Premier League career, and has the chance to fire Chelsea five points clear at the top of the table.
Sep 21, 2014, 10:26 AM EDT
Manchester United were left shell-shocked after blowing a 3-1 lead against Premier League minnows.
Sep 21, 2014, 10:22 AM EDT
Spurs offered little as James Morrison propelled West Brom off the bottom of the table.
Sep 21, 2014, 9:33 AM EDT
Championship side Leeds is dipping into Eastern Europe to find their new manager.
Sep 21, 2014, 8:53 AM EDT
King Power Stadium is bursting with attacking skill as three goals have come within the opening 20 minutes.
Sep 21, 2014, 8:07 AM EDT
Mauricio Pochettino has to navigate a pair of fixtures in four days thanks to the Europa League, and will look to avoid the first defeat to West Brom at White Hart Lane in 30 years.
Sep 21, 2014, 7:48 AM EDT
Radamel Falcao makes his first start for Manchester United who look to build on a strong win last weekend.
Sep 21, 2014, 7:25 AM EDT
Strootman has hired a man with a solid reputation to try and bring down Roma’s insane asking price.
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