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ProSoccerTalk’s weekly MLS Panic Quotient

May 3, 2012, 1:30 PM EDT

Portland Timbers v Real Salt Lake Getty Images

ProSoccerTalk’s weekly MLS Panic Quotient (®) takes the temperature of stress and distress in the streets of Major League Soccer.

MONTREAL IMPACT: I do understand that professional soccer players are not intimidated easily. And expansion Montreal has some quality men. Italian striker Bernardo Corradi and veteran center back Matteo Ferrari got skills and smarts, for instance.  But a visit to Hell in the Heartland, a.k.a. Livestrong Sporting Park, has yet to be an easy trip for anyone. Plus, SKC is well rested and looking to vent a little Eastern big dog frustration from the season’s first setback. If an early goal goes in, the pack could seize upon the weak and the wounded – and at that point, well you know … panic!

Panic quotient: “What do you mean the credit card didn’t go through? Run it again. Please.”

JOHN SPENCER: Who doesn’t love the fans in Portland? (OK, check that. Let’s make it, “Who outside of Seattle doesn’t love the fans in Portland?”) They stand in line for hours – probably in the rain; it is Portland, after all. They sing. They scream until their Stumptowns are sore. They dote on their Timbers. So when the jolly Jeld-Wen brigade starts turning on the coach, even just a little bit, dark clouds are gathering. Long story short on this one, the fans say “world-class soccer” would be a bonus. For now, just lay it all out there with a little more world-class effort and a little more world-class late-game management.

Panic quotient: Happy hour. Good times! Heading home … Flashing red and blue lights in the rearview mirror.

L.A. GALAXY: Well, that was nice while it lasted. A couple of wins had the Galaxy express moving school zone speed, which is better than its previously stalled state. But a draw at home and a loss in Seattle has exposed gaps galore. And it’s getting very “Donald Rumsfeld” up in the house. Let me explain: We knew all along about the known unknowns around Galaxy Manor, the Gonzalez Gap and David Beckham’s noted distractions, etc. But are there more unknown unknowns afoot? It’s starting to smell like it. (When you find Donald Rumsfeld mentioned with your favorite MLS outfit – quite possibly a first-ever – you know the Panic Quotient must surely be rising.)

Panic quotient: The day is sunny and life seems fine when you spot your loving wife eating lunch at a local spot. And comparing notes – with your girlfriend.  


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