May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Oct 21, 2014, 9:08 AM EDT
Find out which players were selected for the Round 8 team of the week in the Premier League.
Oct 21, 2014, 8:23 AM EDT
Harold Mayne-Nicholls’ plan would be a boon for US television viewers, but would it sit well with the players?
Oct 21, 2014, 7:38 AM EDT
‘Twas an easy decision for the awards-givers this week, as Sergio Aguero struck not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times.
Oct 21, 2014, 12:10 AM EDT
Paderborn hasn’t stopped winning or scoring insane goals, if you haven’t noticed.
Oct 20, 2014, 11:29 PM EDT
Actor Mark Consuelos made his way to the Crap Part of Soho while the Men In Blazers tried to keep the ball out of their own net.
Oct 20, 2014, 10:47 PM EDT
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Oct 20, 2014, 9:28 PM EDT
Meghan Klingenberg bagged a laser beam for her first US goal and Abby Wambach grabbed two as the Americans will move on to the semifinals.
Oct 20, 2014, 8:42 PM EDT
Manchester Police confirmed a man was arrested after flying a drone over the match that entertained 45,000 people.
Oct 20, 2014, 8:00 PM EDT
Aron Johannsson bagged a penalty in his return from groin surgery, while Juan Agudelo continues to search for a new club.
Oct 20, 2014, 6:55 PM EDT
Adel Taarabt says the harsh words from manager Harry Redknapp are not only untrue but damaging as a professional.
Oct 20, 2014, 6:16 PM EDT
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Oct 20, 2014, 5:36 PM EDT
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Oct 20, 2014, 4:56 PM EDT
Manchester United came from behind twice but still must settle for a disappointing result away from home.
Oct 20, 2014, 4:35 PM EDT
19-year-old Lazio striker Keita Balde Diao somehow walked away from what looks to be a major accident. His Lamborghini, however, didn’t.
Oct 20, 2014, 3:20 PM EDT
Unruly fans will cost Wales and Galatasary as UEFA continues to crack down on off-the-pitch incidents.
Oct 20, 2014, 2:35 PM EDT
The yearly tournament organizes five-a-side matches for people that are homeless or living in extreme poverty.
Oct 20, 2014, 1:30 PM EDT
Liverpool, Everton and Swansea City are just a few of the Premier League clubs reportedly looking to sign the Marseille winger.
Oct 20, 2014, 12:37 PM EDT
With transfer rumors swirling, the Arsenal forward made it clear that he is #AlwaysAGunner.
Oct 20, 2014, 11:51 AM EDT
Amidst the Ebola outbreak, South Africa has ruled out hosting the continent’s premier tournament should Morocco back out.
Oct 20, 2014, 11:00 AM EDT
Sad news out of India as a young player died after injuring his spinal cord during a celebration.
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