May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Aug 21, 2014, 9:26 PM EDT
Something for nothing? Vancouver swaps a spare part for one of the league’s more prolific assist men.
Aug 21, 2014, 6:42 PM EDT
They’re both stars, both taking elective leave from their national team. That’s where the similarities end between Donovan and Howard.
Aug 21, 2014, 5:22 PM EDT
A new starter will have his chance to stake his claim, while another player will get more looks in camp with the third keeper’s role.
Aug 21, 2014, 4:09 PM EDT
The 35-year-old is taking a step back, making himself unavailable for selection until Sept. 2015.
Aug 21, 2014, 3:19 PM EDT
LMA statement: “These were two text messages sent in private at a time Malky felt under great pressure and when he was letting off steam to a friend during some friendly text message banter.”
Aug 21, 2014, 2:40 PM EDT
Exciting attacker arrives at Loftus Road for the 2014-15 season.
Aug 21, 2014, 1:51 PM EDT
Despite being eligible to play for his country, Suarez left off Uruguay’s roster.
Aug 21, 2014, 12:44 PM EDT
Khedira turns down new deal at Real. Will the Spaniards cash in on him now?
Aug 21, 2014, 11:55 AM EDT
Former Liverpool star could be heading to United as Real Madrid seek to trim squad.
Aug 21, 2014, 11:16 AM EDT
Spurs boss in dramatic U-turn on Europa League after previously dismissing tournament.
Aug 21, 2014, 10:46 AM EDT
Leiweke to leave MLSE, as leading sports executive calls it quits in Toronto.
Aug 21, 2014, 10:05 AM EDT
After trailing 3-1, LA came roaring back to win 4-3 as Donovan bagged the winner.
Aug 21, 2014, 9:25 AM EDT
Di Maria wants out of Real, will Manchester United be able to pounce for his signature?
Aug 21, 2014, 8:54 AM EDT
Moody, pictured center, has resigned from his role at Palace following damaging allegations.
Aug 21, 2014, 8:20 AM EDT
Liverpool, AC Milan agree Balotelli transfer as player, agent set to arrive at Anfield.
Aug 21, 2014, 7:30 AM EDT
Monster moves rumored. Check out all the latest gossip, right here.
Aug 20, 2014, 11:15 PM EDT
Both Ronaldo and Ramos have gone to Madrid president Florentino Perez to ask him to keep Di Maria.
Aug 20, 2014, 10:20 PM EDT
Sunderland manager Gus Poyet believes United States striker Jozy Altidore is the happiest he has ever seen him.
Malky Mackay and Iain Moody investigated by FA for ‘sexist, racist and homophobic’ text messages while at Cardiff City
Aug 20, 2014, 9:11 PM EDT
Malky Mackay has been reported to the Football Association for being involved in a series of racist, sexist and homophobic text messages.
Aug 20, 2014, 8:35 PM EDT
If Liverpool legend Jamie Carragher showed up to your training to sign autographs, what would you ask him?
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- Tim Howard taking a break from U.S. international duty 4
- Report: Xabi Alonso heading to Manchester United 7
- Mario Balotelli edging closer to shock $26 million Liverpool switch 16
- Thursday’s Transfer Rumor Roundup: Tiote to Arsenal, Destro to Chelsea 0
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