May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Apr 17, 2014, 11:33 PM EDT
MLS’s nine-match Saturday kicks off Saturday at 4:00 p.m. ET, with Chicago hosting New England on NBCSN.
Apr 17, 2014, 9:03 PM EDT
Think MLS’s conferences are unbalanced now? Let me offer you a glimpse at 2017.
Apr 17, 2014, 7:44 PM EDT
An American consortium has a deal to buy the club from Randy Lerner, if it can avoid relegation.
Apr 17, 2014, 6:38 PM EDT
The 21-year-old U.S. international appears to have underestimated the impact of an in-season tattoo.
Apr 17, 2014, 6:02 PM EDT
U.S. number one signs extension that will take him through the next World Cup cycle.
Apr 17, 2014, 5:54 PM EDT
Gunners playmaker back fit, as Arsene Wenger expects big things from the German next season:
Apr 17, 2014, 5:24 PM EDT
Real Madrid has the easiest path, with the next two weekends potentially knocking the holders out of contention.
Apr 17, 2014, 5:14 PM EDT
England international a doubt after hamstring injury, why would Liverpool risk him?
Apr 17, 2014, 4:53 PM EDT
Which MLS teams can join New York in leaving the ranks of the winless?
Apr 17, 2014, 4:24 PM EDT
Unstoppable Reds continue to roll, but where did the contenders shake out in our latest rankings?
Apr 17, 2014, 3:28 PM EDT
Both players should be back by the time their national teams start preparations for this summer’s World Cup.
Apr 17, 2014, 2:46 PM EDT
Thousands of flares engulfed Greece’s Toumba Stadium as a bench was lit on fire and covered in anchovies. And that was all before the match…
Apr 17, 2014, 1:58 PM EDT
With Guardiola not taking kindly to criticism from the front office, could the former Barcelona boss return to the Camp Nou?
Apr 17, 2014, 1:02 PM EDT
For decades Manchester United have been the top dogs in Manchester, now that’s changing. PST’s Editor and Lead Writer went behind the scenes to see what Mancunians are all about:
Apr 17, 2014, 12:31 PM EDT
Can Brendan Rodgers and company make it through the rest of their schedule unscathed to the prize at the end? Chelsea seem like the biggest hurdle. Our very own Joe Prince-Wright and Mike Prindiville discuss.
Apr 17, 2014, 11:54 AM EDT
Conspiracy theories are abound, with Swansea’s Garry Monk believing someone is out to get his club while Aston Villa’s Paul Lambert couldn’t speak on the suspension of staff members due to a “legal investigation.”
Apr 17, 2014, 10:59 AM EDT
Napoli’s Marek Hamsik has struggled this year, but the 26-year-old could seriously bolster a Premier League attack.
Apr 17, 2014, 9:51 AM EDT
With its club licensing benchmark report for the 2012 season, UEFA has outlined trends that signal both unprecedented growth and overspending issues.
Apr 17, 2014, 8:23 AM EDT
According to a BBC report, a Cardiff player leaked the lineup to Moody who mistakenly sent a text to the wrong person.
Apr 17, 2014, 7:37 AM EDT
With Brendan Rodgers having steered Liverpool to unthinkable Premier League heights, Arsene Wenger believes the deciders should instead look to the league’s trenches to give out its postseason award.
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