May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Mar 27, 2015, 11:35 PM EDT
Roundup of Euro 2016 qualifying matches from Saturday.
Mar 27, 2015, 10:00 PM EDT
Both Danny Welbeck and Raheem Sterling will most likely be out of England’s friendly vs. Italy on Tuesday.
Mar 27, 2015, 8:52 PM EDT
Sweden’s Zlatan Ibrahmovic buries a strange one.
Mar 27, 2015, 8:20 PM EDT
England trounced Lithuania 4-0 in a Euro qualifier for their seventh-straight win since the World Cup, and captain Wayne Rooney likes what future lies ahead for his country.
Mar 27, 2015, 6:42 PM EDT
22-year-old Ventura Alvarado asserts that he would like to play for USMNT in the long term.
Mar 27, 2015, 6:00 PM EDT
Manager Chris Coleman say Gareth Bale is only focused on the Wales’ “job in hand.”
Mar 27, 2015, 4:50 PM EDT
Suarez doesn’t think he could be classified as hooligan after his biting incidents.
Mar 27, 2015, 3:45 PM EDT
The New England Revolution have been on the losing end early in the season before.
Mar 27, 2015, 3:00 PM EDT
No first cap just yet for Kane, though he’s expected to come off the bench in the second half.
Mar 27, 2015, 1:27 PM EDT
A resounding result for the 2016 Olympics hopefuls, away from home.
Mar 27, 2015, 12:18 PM EDT
Stoke City are on the verge of their first-ever top-10 finish in the Premier League, and Mark Hughes has been rewarded for his success.
Mar 27, 2015, 11:04 AM EDT
Another bitter injury blow for Juventus, who now have just one fit, first-team central midfielder.
Mar 27, 2015, 10:11 AM EDT
Lampard is in the Big Apple, where he’ll spend time with his future teammates and watch them play Sporting KC.
Mar 27, 2015, 8:25 AM EDT
With a six-point lead in the league (and a game in hand), do Chelsea really need a “blessing in disguise” to win this year’s Premier League title?
Mar 27, 2015, 8:03 AM EDT
A star-depleted (international duty) Week 4 of MLS should still provide lots of entertainment and quality.
Mar 26, 2015, 11:30 PM EDT
If punditry doesn’t work for Scholes, sign him up as Man United’s top player recruiter. At least he aims high.
Mar 26, 2015, 10:00 PM EDT
Watch in 90 seconds the construction of Avaya Stadium, from Day 1 to Game 1.
Mar 26, 2015, 7:17 PM EDT
Another month out for Sturridge, just when Liverpool’s top-four dreams rest on his shoulders the most.
Mar 26, 2015, 6:54 PM EDT
You couldn’t get this one anymore wrong, UEFA. 10-times worse than racism? Not OK.
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