May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Aug 27, 2015, 7:37 PM EDT
Rog talks with Chelsea’s Jose Mourinho about his coaching philosophy, post-match press conferences and football in America.
Aug 27, 2015, 7:09 PM EDT
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Aug 27, 2015, 5:41 PM EDT
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Aug 27, 2015, 4:38 PM EDT
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Aug 27, 2015, 4:00 PM EDT
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Aug 27, 2015, 2:20 PM EDT
Neymar could be a stunt double for Limerick’s Barry Cotter.
Aug 27, 2015, 1:41 PM EDT
UCL draw hands two PL teams favorable groups. As for the other two… woof.
Aug 27, 2015, 1:16 PM EDT
Argentine superstar picks up second UEFA Best Player award after stunning treble-winning season.
Aug 27, 2015, 12:42 PM EDT
The stars will be out in force as heavyweights collide at the first hurdle.
Aug 27, 2015, 11:30 AM EDT
Experienced center backs both missed Liverpool game through injury. Will they return this weekend?
Aug 27, 2015, 10:50 AM EDT
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Aug 27, 2015, 10:05 AM EDT
Super Mario knows he is running out of chances to salvage his career.
Aug 27, 2015, 9:20 AM EDT
Gunners boss says he will be available “24 hours” as Deadline Day approaches.
Aug 27, 2015, 8:28 AM EDT
Back in black, the Red Devils have a snazzy new jersey for their UCL games this season.
Aug 27, 2015, 7:45 AM EDT
Have City given up on signing KDB this summer?
Aug 26, 2015, 10:03 PM EDT
Three matches certainly don’t tell the tale of an entire season, but it’s a decent length chapter in the story of the 2015-16 Premier League.
Aug 26, 2015, 8:42 PM EDT
Martinez wants Stones to stay, and says chairman Bill Kenwight isn’t going to cash in this late in the window.
Aug 26, 2015, 7:56 PM EDT
The Times’ Chief Football Correspondant Oliver Kay says the move should be done soon, and for less than $90 million.
Aug 26, 2015, 7:07 PM EDT
Forget the weaker opposition for a second, and enjoy that the 18-year-old Zelalem was dynamite.
Aug 26, 2015, 6:42 PM EDT
A retooled group stage draw could provide some incredibly high-profile groups for this season’s UEFA Champions League.
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