May 23, 2012, 3:15 PM EDT
Joey Barton needs a good shaking. Or something.
But since we’re an evolved species, and since Barton isn’t a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum – ahem, we’re all thinking the same thing, so let’s just move on – we don’t do those kinds of things.
So instead of a good shaking, or a right proper spanking, even, the English FA has banned the naughty boy from Queens Park Rangers for 12 matches.
He’s also been fined £75,000 (about $117,000) for being soccer’s version of the unstable Michael Douglas character from Falling Down.
Barton was sent off from QPR’s loss to Manchester City on the final EPL match day for clashing tin Carlos Tevez. In the ensuing maelstrom of mayhem, Barton kicked City’s Sergio Aguero and attempted to head butt Vincent Kompany.
As my Twitter buddy Abram Chamberlain (@MindOfAbram) said: If I’m QPR, I’m seeing if I can sell Joey Barton to a League 1 side for £17, some scones and a cup of Earl Grey.
Well said, indeed.
Jul 31, 2014, 11:42 AM EDT
Jermaine Jones is not the only US midfielder rumored to come home, while two Red Devils are tipped for Madrid.
Jul 31, 2014, 10:52 AM EDT
An altercation between a player and referee in a men’s league game left the official dead. What followed has been anything but pretty.
Jul 31, 2014, 10:03 AM EDT
The World Cup praise has been flowing for Klinsmann in international circles, though American analysts like Alexi Lalas, Eric Wynalda and others have condemned the manager’s approach as too cautious.
Jul 31, 2014, 9:03 AM EDT
Neymar’s health could be the key to whether Barcelona can weather the Luis Suarez suspension in pursuit of La Liga’s title.
Jul 31, 2014, 8:20 AM EDT
The Red Devils’ owners are making more of the club public following the death of patriarch Malcolm, and the club could lose adidas money if on-field success doesn’t return.
Jul 31, 2014, 7:51 AM EDT
Since putting in a good effort for the USMNT at the World Cup, Jones had been sorting out his next career move and partying with celebrities like Paris Hilton and Mike Tyson.
Jul 31, 2014, 12:23 AM EDT
Thierry Henry’s second half equalizer takes earns a point at Rio Tinto.
Jul 30, 2014, 10:43 PM EDT
The Revs’ eight-game losing streak ends thanks to another strong night from Lee Nguyen.
Jul 30, 2014, 9:20 PM EDT
The Red fall nine points back of second place United in the Eastern Conference.
Jul 30, 2014, 8:27 PM EDT
24-year-old defender loaned out for the seventh time.
Ugly scenes in Northern Ireland as Mexican U-19 player attempts to kick opponent’s head during Milk Cup brawl
Jul 30, 2014, 7:29 PM EDT
Game is eventually cut short after a yet unnamed player aimed at the head of a fallen opponent.
Jul 30, 2014, 6:46 PM EDT
Atlético’s interest could develop into Chicharito’s best option.
Jul 30, 2014, 5:58 PM EDT
Nick De Santis will stay with the Impact, albeit in an administrative role.
Jul 30, 2014, 5:11 PM EDT
Everton’s leading scorer returns to Goodison on a permanent basis.
Jul 30, 2014, 4:01 PM EDT
With immediate effect, U.S.’s women’s league will pause mid-half if when it’s too hot.
Jul 30, 2014, 3:12 PM EDT
Liverpool roll into town and people freak out! Watch this incredible reaction to Stevie G signing autographs.
Jul 30, 2014, 2:46 PM EDT
Reports from Texas state Jurgen Klinsmann’s side are playing Colombia in September.
Jul 30, 2014, 2:10 PM EDT
Union grab Algerian goalkeeper Mbolhi, throw MacMath’s future in doubt.
Jul 30, 2014, 1:42 PM EDT
One of the most influential men in world soccer passed away on Wednesday at the age of 82.
Jul 30, 2014, 1:07 PM EDT
After success at the 2014 World Cup, vanishing spray is coming to the PL.
- Simeone praises Klinsmann’s US program that “seduces us as coaches” 0
- Neymar’s recovery from World Cup back injury “almost 100 percent” 0
- Reports: Jermaine Jones coming to Chicago, move welcomed by Fire 0
- Atlético Madrid latest club linked with Javier ‘Chicharito’ Hernández 3
- Romelu Lukaku completes permanent, $47 million move to Everton 11
- Report: US to play friendly vs. Colombia in San Antonio 1