Jan 7, 2013, 4:00 PM EDT
Leave it to FIFA to create an hour of needless content around two revelations that could have been zipped up in about four minutes – and that’s with both acceptance speeches!
Yup … dancers, weird mascots, bad speeches (along with a few worthy moments, if should be said) all to find out that Messi had outdistanced Cristiano Ronaldo (the only real competition, it should be said) for the 2012 world honor.
Here are some other memorable moments and facts to consider (of the completely random nature):
Messi was not listed on 52 of the 508 official ballots. Fools. Just fools.
For the record, Ruud Gullit is the only former MLS manager to ever host a FIFA Ballon D’Or ceremony.
Sepp Blatter’s speech to open the ceremony would have raised indignant cries of “hypocrisy” or even “ignorance” … if it wasn’t just so comically bad.
If you’re interested, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann voted Messi first, Andrea Pirlo second and Cristiano Ronaldo third. All the ballots are here.
If I find the man or woman who said, “Dancing! We need more dancing at the ceremony! … Maybe even some shirtless men throwing fake kung-fu!” … we are going to have words.
So as not to sound like a total FIFA basher, the video mash-up of former player of the year winners, which included some wonderful, old footage, was pretty sweet.
In case you were wondering, the man conducting interviews for FIFA’s official feed on the red carpet before Monday’s announcement thought U.S. women’s national team players Alex Morgan and Hope Solo were beautiful and were wearing beautiful dresses. He didn’t feel the need to say something similar about the handsome, fit and well-dressed men he interviewed. It seems that the sexist attitudes around world soccer’s governing body trickle down from the top.
I’m not quite sure what to say about Messi’s seriously fancy outfit. Polka dots, yo!
Speaking of wardrobe, here’s what blogger-funny man-good dude Shawn Francis said about Brazil’s Marta, who was up for Female Player of the Year: “Marta wearing Tina Turner’s dress from the Private Dancer tour, I see.” Good one, Shawn!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s stunning goal against England wasn’t even among the nominees for FIFA Goal of the Year … which delegitimizes the award in my mind. No reason to even talk about it.
Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque was named Men’s Coach of the Year.
Former U.S. manager Pia Sundhage was named Women’s Coach of the Year.
Singing! Of course, there had to be singing! At least one tune was of the unscripted variety, as Sundhage sang out a nice, quick little tribute to Alex Morgan and Wambach in the audience, essentially saying she was there because of players like them. A very nice touch. And very, uh, “Sundage.”
Two-time Ballon D’Or winner and former Brazilian great Ronaldo (pictured) is only 36, but he has added so much weight, he is nearly unrecognizable.
Gullit, 49 minutes into the ridiculously, overly long ceremony: “The tension is mounting!” Uh, no … it really wasn’t. Whatever tension might have been linked into this one (truly, not so much) leaked about around the time the Brazil 2104 mascot went bouncing around on the stage. Or when Gullit put on a Gullit wig. (He really did that.) Or when some lady nobody knew sang a song nobody knew. Or when … oh, you get the message.
Jul 29, 2014, 10:36 PM EDT
The 3,600 meters of elevation will provide a stiff challenge, with many opposing clubs having fallen victim to the altitude.
Jul 29, 2014, 9:43 PM EDT
Manchester United continued their success in the US with a third consecutive victory.
Jul 29, 2014, 9:01 PM EDT
Sturridge and Ibe step to the mic and hold their own.
Jul 29, 2014, 8:24 PM EDT
In team news, van Gaal has decided to go with his fabled 3-5-2.
Jul 29, 2014, 8:03 PM EDT
In a startling revelation, AS has revealed that Radamel Falcao has begun following three Real Madrid players on Instagram.
Jul 29, 2014, 7:08 PM EDT
Big day for headlines coming out of Southampton but this one looks to be quite promising for Saints fans.
Jul 29, 2014, 6:30 PM EDT
Twenty-seven years after his first stint with Gremio, Luis Felipe Scolari is returning to the Brazilian side as its new manager.
Jul 29, 2014, 6:00 PM EDT
Krkic, who made the $6.7 million move from Barcelona last week, scored a cracker of a first goal for Stoke City.
Jul 29, 2014, 5:25 PM EDT
Tevez’s family was then phoned and told to deliver a ransom of $5,000 (40,000 pesos).
Jul 29, 2014, 4:53 PM EDT
“Every penny of that will be up for reinvestment as transfer fees and wages,” Krueger said.
Jul 29, 2014, 4:03 PM EDT
Where, exactly, Ronaldinho’s future ends up is anyone’s guess.
Jul 29, 2014, 3:22 PM EDT
ICC and MLS action is in full swing in the USA this week. Watch it all online, here.
Jul 29, 2014, 2:57 PM EDT
Jacobson arrives in the Big Apple from Dallas. Will Aquilani join him?
Jul 29, 2014, 2:20 PM EDT
Now Schneiderlin wants out as Saints’ incredible exodus continues to take a turn for the worst.
Jul 29, 2014, 1:58 PM EDT
Despite not winning any silverware last season, Barcelona were big winners off the pitch.
Jul 29, 2014, 1:21 PM EDT
Tevez’s father, Juan Carlos Cabral, is said to have been kidnapped in Buenos Aires and held for ransom.
Jul 29, 2014, 1:15 PM EDT
Southampton duo are going nowhere, despite being linked with Tottenham switch.
Jul 29, 2014, 12:37 PM EDT
Liverpool sign talented Belgian teenager, will loan him back to Lille this season.
Jul 29, 2014, 12:11 PM EDT
Even after calling African players “banana eaters” this man is set lead the Italian FA.
Jul 29, 2014, 11:25 AM EDT
England star commits his future to the Toffees.
- Watch Live: Manchester United vs. Inter Milan (Lineups and Discuss) 0
- Liverpool complete $17 million signing of Belgian striker Divock Origi 1
- Tim Howard joins NBC Sports’ Premier League broadcast team on multi-year deal 11
- VIDEO: US stars fight – Omar Gonzalez vs. Clint Dempsey, DeAndre Yedlin 6
- Manchester United’s Luke Shaw trains on his own, told he’s “not fit enough” 2
- MLS Snapshot: Seattle Sounders 0-3 LA Galaxy 3