Jan 7, 2013, 4:00 PM EST
Leave it to FIFA to create an hour of needless content around two revelations that could have been zipped up in about four minutes – and that’s with both acceptance speeches!
Yup … dancers, weird mascots, bad speeches (along with a few worthy moments, if should be said) all to find out that Messi had outdistanced Cristiano Ronaldo (the only real competition, it should be said) for the 2012 world honor.
Here are some other memorable moments and facts to consider (of the completely random nature):
Messi was not listed on 52 of the 508 official ballots. Fools. Just fools.
For the record, Ruud Gullit is the only former MLS manager to ever host a FIFA Ballon D’Or ceremony.
Sepp Blatter’s speech to open the ceremony would have raised indignant cries of “hypocrisy” or even “ignorance” … if it wasn’t just so comically bad.
If you’re interested, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann voted Messi first, Andrea Pirlo second and Cristiano Ronaldo third. All the ballots are here.
If I find the man or woman who said, “Dancing! We need more dancing at the ceremony! … Maybe even some shirtless men throwing fake kung-fu!” … we are going to have words.
So as not to sound like a total FIFA basher, the video mash-up of former player of the year winners, which included some wonderful, old footage, was pretty sweet.
In case you were wondering, the man conducting interviews for FIFA’s official feed on the red carpet before Monday’s announcement thought U.S. women’s national team players Alex Morgan and Hope Solo were beautiful and were wearing beautiful dresses. He didn’t feel the need to say something similar about the handsome, fit and well-dressed men he interviewed. It seems that the sexist attitudes around world soccer’s governing body trickle down from the top.
I’m not quite sure what to say about Messi’s seriously fancy outfit. Polka dots, yo!
Speaking of wardrobe, here’s what blogger-funny man-good dude Shawn Francis said about Brazil’s Marta, who was up for Female Player of the Year: “Marta wearing Tina Turner’s dress from the Private Dancer tour, I see.” Good one, Shawn!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s stunning goal against England wasn’t even among the nominees for FIFA Goal of the Year … which delegitimizes the award in my mind. No reason to even talk about it.
Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque was named Men’s Coach of the Year.
Former U.S. manager Pia Sundhage was named Women’s Coach of the Year.
Singing! Of course, there had to be singing! At least one tune was of the unscripted variety, as Sundhage sang out a nice, quick little tribute to Alex Morgan and Wambach in the audience, essentially saying she was there because of players like them. A very nice touch. And very, uh, “Sundage.”
Two-time Ballon D’Or winner and former Brazilian great Ronaldo (pictured) is only 36, but he has added so much weight, he is nearly unrecognizable.
Gullit, 49 minutes into the ridiculously, overly long ceremony: “The tension is mounting!” Uh, no … it really wasn’t. Whatever tension might have been linked into this one (truly, not so much) leaked about around the time the Brazil 2104 mascot went bouncing around on the stage. Or when Gullit put on a Gullit wig. (He really did that.) Or when some lady nobody knew sang a song nobody knew. Or when … oh, you get the message.
Nov 25, 2014, 4:10 PM EST
Suarez is off and running for Barca with a goal of exceptional class. What else did you expect?
Nov 25, 2014, 3:46 PM EST
The only other active players in the Top Ten are Chelsea’s Didier Drogba (43) and Thierry Henry (50), who obviously isn’t active with a UEFA Champions League club.
Nov 25, 2014, 3:10 PM EST
With top-quality players hardly ever available in January, the Portguese international could be a hot commodity in England.
Nov 25, 2014, 2:33 PM EST
A urinary infection has Pele in the hospital just 10 days after being released following surgery.
Nov 25, 2014, 1:55 PM EST
Follow the latest batch of UEFA Champions League matches, right here.
Nov 25, 2014, 1:05 PM EST
To be completed in two phases,
Nov 25, 2014, 12:11 PM EST
“Air Marshall” not only earned his nickname, but helped to solidify an otherwise shaky back line.
Nov 25, 2014, 11:23 AM EST
Another major move in the world of money, which is clearly what FIFA is most concerned with.
Nov 25, 2014, 10:41 AM EST
While away with the team on a road trip, the Southampton midfielder’s house was ransacked and multiple valuables stolen, including his car.
Nov 25, 2014, 9:19 AM EST
Jack Wilshere will be out “for a few games” and will see a specialist after turning his ankle hard.
Nov 25, 2014, 8:26 AM EST
A fire broke out in the one building standing in the way of Tottenham’s proposed new stadium, a fishy situation indeed.
Nov 25, 2014, 8:03 AM EST
Back after steering the club to safety last season, Stevens has a taller task ahead of him this time around.
Nov 24, 2014, 11:23 PM EST
A rematch of the World Cup quarterfinals headlines the draw for the 2015 Copa America tournament.
Nov 24, 2014, 10:30 PM EST
After leading his club to their second straight win, it’s a Burnley man as Round 12’s Player of the Week.
Nov 24, 2014, 9:25 PM EST
With a massive Champions League match against Bayern Munich tomorrow, Samir Nasri said Manchester City’s stars must perform to keep their jobs.
Nov 24, 2014, 8:30 PM EST
After returning from injury ahead of schedule, Olivier Giroud found out he was never included on Arsenal’s Champions League roster.
Nov 24, 2014, 7:25 PM EST
Find out who made it into the starting XI in the latest edition of Premier League Team of the Week.
Nov 24, 2014, 6:28 PM EST
Manchester City hosts Bayern as Chelsea travel to Schalke on Matchday 5 of Champions League group play.
Nov 24, 2014, 5:30 PM EST
PST’s Lead Writer and Editor takes an in-depth look at the PL during Week 12.
Nov 24, 2014, 5:11 PM EST
Aston Villa led at halftime but a Nathaniel Clyne strike ensured a point for Southampton at Villa Park.
- Lionel Messi breaks Raul’s record for Champions League goals (video) 0
- LIVE – Champions League: Manchester City vs. Bayern Munich, Chelsea to Schalke 0
- Report: Sony will not renew sponsorship with FIFA over future World Cup shroud 3
- Wenger says Jack Wilshere has a “big ankle sprain” 2
- Premier League Playback: Should Liverpool fire Brendan Rodgers? 3
- Aston Villa 1-1 Southampton: Nathaniel Clyne secures point for Saints 2