Jan 7, 2013, 4:00 PM EDT
Leave it to FIFA to create an hour of needless content around two revelations that could have been zipped up in about four minutes – and that’s with both acceptance speeches!
Yup … dancers, weird mascots, bad speeches (along with a few worthy moments, if should be said) all to find out that Messi had outdistanced Cristiano Ronaldo (the only real competition, it should be said) for the 2012 world honor.
Here are some other memorable moments and facts to consider (of the completely random nature):
Messi was not listed on 52 of the 508 official ballots. Fools. Just fools.
For the record, Ruud Gullit is the only former MLS manager to ever host a FIFA Ballon D’Or ceremony.
Sepp Blatter’s speech to open the ceremony would have raised indignant cries of “hypocrisy” or even “ignorance” … if it wasn’t just so comically bad.
If you’re interested, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann voted Messi first, Andrea Pirlo second and Cristiano Ronaldo third. All the ballots are here.
If I find the man or woman who said, “Dancing! We need more dancing at the ceremony! … Maybe even some shirtless men throwing fake kung-fu!” … we are going to have words.
So as not to sound like a total FIFA basher, the video mash-up of former player of the year winners, which included some wonderful, old footage, was pretty sweet.
In case you were wondering, the man conducting interviews for FIFA’s official feed on the red carpet before Monday’s announcement thought U.S. women’s national team players Alex Morgan and Hope Solo were beautiful and were wearing beautiful dresses. He didn’t feel the need to say something similar about the handsome, fit and well-dressed men he interviewed. It seems that the sexist attitudes around world soccer’s governing body trickle down from the top.
I’m not quite sure what to say about Messi’s seriously fancy outfit. Polka dots, yo!
Speaking of wardrobe, here’s what blogger-funny man-good dude Shawn Francis said about Brazil’s Marta, who was up for Female Player of the Year: “Marta wearing Tina Turner’s dress from the Private Dancer tour, I see.” Good one, Shawn!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s stunning goal against England wasn’t even among the nominees for FIFA Goal of the Year … which delegitimizes the award in my mind. No reason to even talk about it.
Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque was named Men’s Coach of the Year.
Former U.S. manager Pia Sundhage was named Women’s Coach of the Year.
Singing! Of course, there had to be singing! At least one tune was of the unscripted variety, as Sundhage sang out a nice, quick little tribute to Alex Morgan and Wambach in the audience, essentially saying she was there because of players like them. A very nice touch. And very, uh, “Sundage.”
Two-time Ballon D’Or winner and former Brazilian great Ronaldo (pictured) is only 36, but he has added so much weight, he is nearly unrecognizable.
Gullit, 49 minutes into the ridiculously, overly long ceremony: “The tension is mounting!” Uh, no … it really wasn’t. Whatever tension might have been linked into this one (truly, not so much) leaked about around the time the Brazil 2104 mascot went bouncing around on the stage. Or when Gullit put on a Gullit wig. (He really did that.) Or when some lady nobody knew sang a song nobody knew. Or when … oh, you get the message.
Oct 1, 2014, 4:15 PM EDT
“He scores when he wants. He scores when he wants. Danny Welbeck, he scores when he wants.”
Oct 1, 2014, 3:37 PM EDT
A first-half brace from Danny Welbeck and a third from Alexis Sanchez handed Arsenal some breathing room against Galatasaray.
Oct 1, 2014, 3:37 PM EDT
Arsenal are flying, so too are Leverkusen. Check out all the half time scores, here.
Oct 1, 2014, 2:44 PM EDT
The Gunners opened the Champions League group stage in disappointing form, losing 2-0 to BVB.
Oct 1, 2014, 2:24 PM EDT
Can the Reds make it two wins from two in the Champions League?
Oct 1, 2014, 1:56 PM EDT
Zenit, Monaco remain top of Group C after a dour draw in Saint Petersburg.
Oct 1, 2014, 1:38 PM EDT
Thierry Henry may be on his way out of New York City as turmoil at the top could drive him out.
Oct 1, 2014, 1:26 PM EDT
The two sides had some internet fun after yesterday’s 1-1 Champions League draw.
Oct 1, 2014, 12:20 PM EDT
The former president of CONMEBOL told Uruguayan TV that Suarez could return earlier than expected.
Oct 1, 2014, 11:40 AM EDT
That Wayne Rooney implosion? You’re gonna need Rog and Davo to break it down.
Oct 1, 2014, 11:19 AM EDT
The US fringe player picked a terrible time to be injured, with the international break on the horizon.
Oct 1, 2014, 10:28 AM EDT
With Zelalem weaving through defenders on the Arsenal U-19 team, it’s hard not to get antsy about the 17-year-old possibly playing for the United States.
Oct 1, 2014, 9:52 AM EDT
With their Champions League match in Russia behind closed doors due to a UEFA sanction, fans found a way to watch anyways, and the team rewarded the dedicated supporters.
Oct 1, 2014, 8:25 AM EDT
Jose Mourinho has pestered the media with information about Costa’s troublesome hamstring all week, but the player himself isn’t listening.
Oct 1, 2014, 7:47 AM EDT
Alan Pardew must deal with yet another off the field issue at St. James Park as reports he’s losing the dressing room don’t look any less true at the moment.
Sep 30, 2014, 11:43 PM EDT
Are you as tired of Vincent Tan as Cardiff City supporters are?
Sep 30, 2014, 10:50 PM EDT
The German defender was courted by Manchester United and Real Madrid, but says he is at Dortmund for the long-run.
Sep 30, 2014, 9:45 PM EDT
Wednesday features eight Champions League matches, including important matchups for Premier League sides Arsenal and Liverpool.
Sep 30, 2014, 8:56 PM EDT
The newly signed Bayern midfielder had 204 touches in Munich’s 2-0 win over FC Koln.
Sep 30, 2014, 8:03 PM EDT
Martin Odegaard made his international debut this summer as Norway’s youngest player ever.
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- Report: Red Bull’s days in MLS are likely numbered 3
- Men in Blazers podcast: Wayne Rooney’s implosion, Derby Day and an MiBNT update 0
- So much for bad hamstrings, Costa states he’s ready for Spain selection 0
- Mats Hummels says his future is at Dortmund 0
- UEFA Champions League preview: Liverpool face Basel, Arsenal defend the Emirates 1