Jan 7, 2013, 4:00 PM EDT
Leave it to FIFA to create an hour of needless content around two revelations that could have been zipped up in about four minutes – and that’s with both acceptance speeches!
Yup … dancers, weird mascots, bad speeches (along with a few worthy moments, if should be said) all to find out that Messi had outdistanced Cristiano Ronaldo (the only real competition, it should be said) for the 2012 world honor.
Here are some other memorable moments and facts to consider (of the completely random nature):
Messi was not listed on 52 of the 508 official ballots. Fools. Just fools.
For the record, Ruud Gullit is the only former MLS manager to ever host a FIFA Ballon D’Or ceremony.
Sepp Blatter’s speech to open the ceremony would have raised indignant cries of “hypocrisy” or even “ignorance” … if it wasn’t just so comically bad.
If you’re interested, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann voted Messi first, Andrea Pirlo second and Cristiano Ronaldo third. All the ballots are here.
If I find the man or woman who said, “Dancing! We need more dancing at the ceremony! … Maybe even some shirtless men throwing fake kung-fu!” … we are going to have words.
So as not to sound like a total FIFA basher, the video mash-up of former player of the year winners, which included some wonderful, old footage, was pretty sweet.
In case you were wondering, the man conducting interviews for FIFA’s official feed on the red carpet before Monday’s announcement thought U.S. women’s national team players Alex Morgan and Hope Solo were beautiful and were wearing beautiful dresses. He didn’t feel the need to say something similar about the handsome, fit and well-dressed men he interviewed. It seems that the sexist attitudes around world soccer’s governing body trickle down from the top.
I’m not quite sure what to say about Messi’s seriously fancy outfit. Polka dots, yo!
Speaking of wardrobe, here’s what blogger-funny man-good dude Shawn Francis said about Brazil’s Marta, who was up for Female Player of the Year: “Marta wearing Tina Turner’s dress from the Private Dancer tour, I see.” Good one, Shawn!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s stunning goal against England wasn’t even among the nominees for FIFA Goal of the Year … which delegitimizes the award in my mind. No reason to even talk about it.
Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque was named Men’s Coach of the Year.
Former U.S. manager Pia Sundhage was named Women’s Coach of the Year.
Singing! Of course, there had to be singing! At least one tune was of the unscripted variety, as Sundhage sang out a nice, quick little tribute to Alex Morgan and Wambach in the audience, essentially saying she was there because of players like them. A very nice touch. And very, uh, “Sundage.”
Two-time Ballon D’Or winner and former Brazilian great Ronaldo (pictured) is only 36, but he has added so much weight, he is nearly unrecognizable.
Gullit, 49 minutes into the ridiculously, overly long ceremony: “The tension is mounting!” Uh, no … it really wasn’t. Whatever tension might have been linked into this one (truly, not so much) leaked about around the time the Brazil 2104 mascot went bouncing around on the stage. Or when Gullit put on a Gullit wig. (He really did that.) Or when some lady nobody knew sang a song nobody knew. Or when … oh, you get the message.
Oct 25, 2014, 12:59 PM EDT
Neymar and Ronaldo stealing the show so far, as four on yellows for Barca. Live updates, here:
Oct 25, 2014, 12:48 PM EDT
Pellegrini magnanimous in defeat, but City could be eight points off top spot by the end of the weekend.
Oct 25, 2014, 12:05 PM EDT
Reds thwarted by stubborn Tigers, as Balotelli fires a blank once again.
Oct 25, 2014, 12:04 PM EDT
West Brom won the shots battle 17-8 and carried nearly 70 percent of the possession by the time all was said and done.
Oct 25, 2014, 11:59 AM EDT
It was 1-0 at half, and it was all the Saints would need.
Oct 25, 2014, 11:58 AM EDT
Arsenal make the most of awful errors from Sunderland.
Oct 25, 2014, 11:41 AM EDT
Eighth-place Swans will host the suddenly-struggling Foxes as both teams look to rebuild momentum after good starts to the season.
Oct 25, 2014, 11:24 AM EDT
Follow El Clasico here with live updates, as Suarez starts with his four month ban over.
Oct 25, 2014, 11:02 AM EDT
Watch the second half of every match live, right here.
Oct 25, 2014, 10:51 AM EDT
Watch this hilarious video, as Brand gives Big Sam a smooch.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:50 AM EDT
Will Mario Balotelli score his first Premier League goal and get Liverpool going? Watch live, here.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:45 AM EDT
Hammers win third-straight PL game, as City’s bad week gets worse.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:29 AM EDT
Can the Gunners top Sunderland? Watch live.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:24 AM EDT
The Baggies are two points above the drop with 9 points, while Palace’s 8 points have them slightly less safe.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:22 AM EDT
Around this time last season, Stoke City goalkeeper Asmir Begovic scored a goal in the wind against Southampton.
Oct 25, 2014, 9:17 AM EDT
Before the tournament, we asked whether they’d roar, and so far the US women have done so.
Oct 25, 2014, 8:55 AM EDT
Van Gaal: “He’s very special but he is very special for me because we’ve continued our relationship.”
Oct 25, 2014, 8:25 AM EDT
Just what is going wrong at the back for Liverpool? Brendan Rodgers has a theory…
Oct 25, 2014, 7:33 AM EDT
Can West Ham upset Man City? Watch live, here.
Oct 25, 2014, 7:02 AM EDT
Where and how to watch every PL game during Week 9 live online or via the app.
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- West Ham United 2-1 Manchester City: Hammers stun reigning champs 1
- WATCH: Premier League online via NBC Sports Live Extra – Week 9 0
- Chicago Fire 2-1 Houston Dynamo: Stoppage-time winner caps off Chicago comeback (VIDEO) 1
- Premier League Preview: Sunderland vs. Arsenal 0