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Let’s talk about Brazil, World Cup, massive parties and … prostitution?

Jan 8, 2013, 3:45 PM EDT

Jesus redeemer

Has there been a better combination in the whole history of combinations than “Brazil” and “Soccer?”

Which is why everyone is so fired up about Brazil 2014. It’s going to be “off the chain,” as the kids like to say, on a grand scale.

The game at highest level. The world’s greatest quadrennial soccer celebration. A fun-loving land where they dote on the nightlife, the dancing, the embrace of the beach and the party feast! This thing might wedge the world a half a degree off its axis.

Which is why everyone wants to be there.

But there’s something I tell everyone who grins and proclaims, in Samuel L. Jackson’s “Jules” voice from Pulp Fiction, “I’m going, and that’s just all there is to it!”  I never want to be a buzz kill, but I honestly believe this:

It’s going to be a huge mess.

Logistics, ticketing (and counterfeit ticketing), hotels, inevitable pricing scandal, travel challenges across a huge land … everything!  And can we talk about security? Violence in some Brazilian cities has long been sadly overwhelming.

So, yes it’s going to be fun – but it’s going to be a big ol’ mess.

The evidence will roll in periodically of how, uh, messy this thing is going to be. Like this story from today. It says that prostitutes in one of Brazil’s large cities will take English classes to maximize their profits during what we’ll cautiously call “business time.”

The story is based around quotes from Cida Vieira, president of the Association of Prostitutes in the city of Belo Horizonte. Which leads to the obvious question: “They have such an association!?”

Brazil 2014, folks!  Suggested motto: “Come for the soccer … Stay for the party!  (And try to stay out of trouble.)”

  1. dreadpirate82 - Jan 8, 2013 at 3:54 PM

    I know what you’re trying to say
    You’re trying to say it’s time for business,

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist Flight of the Conchords.

    • Steve Davis - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:51 PM

      Only thing that could have been better …. if this story had dropped on a Wednesday. Because, as you clearly remember, Wednesday is business time!

  2. seanb20124 - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    If you can’t afford to do a WC in 5 star luxury, stay home. The headaches will not be worth it.

    • tchaikicksky - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:59 PM

      Yikes, someone needs to remove themselves from their socio-economic bubble.

  3. crnelson10 - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    So you’re saying I shouldn’t take my wife?

    • danielofthedale - Jan 8, 2013 at 5:12 PM

      Or maybe you should, depending on just how adventures she is. haha

      • mkbryant3 - Jan 8, 2013 at 11:57 PM

        That’ll be extra.

  4. futbolhistorian - Jan 9, 2013 at 12:36 AM

    Not sure I understand why the presence of the world’s oldest profession at a sporting event attended by thousands and thousands of traveling males with disposable income will make things “messy” this particular time? Did I just miss the innuendo?

    • mvktr2 - Jan 9, 2013 at 7:43 AM

      This is cleared up easily, simple typo.

      Steve meant it’s gonna be a Messi!

  5. magicbucs - Jan 9, 2013 at 12:42 AM

    Crime happens everywhere in the world not just in brazil or south America. Ask newtown CT. It’s a world cup, no matter where it’s held it’s going to be a big mess. I think with legal prostitution it will keep testosterone levels down during non games days in those cities and crime should be down.

  6. east96st - Jan 9, 2013 at 2:22 AM

    Steve – As for the prostitutes, it’s a well known “secret” that “ladies” from all across America descend on whatever city is hosting the Super Bowl. Stores have Black Friday and the oldest profession has Super Bowl week.

    As for Brazil, this is their moment in the sun as an emerging economic power. I’m guessing the streets will be packed with police and military. Might turn out to be one of the safest Cups to go to.

  7. fahmundamahbalsaq - Jan 9, 2013 at 5:11 AM

    “Me so horny. Me love you long time.” Yeah it will be worth the English lessons to hear that. “Honey, I’m going to Brazil!”

  8. mvktr2 - Jan 9, 2013 at 7:58 AM

    Brazilian ladies = beautiful. Brazilian prostitutes = no-go-zone.

    Just a note. Legalization takes out much of the criminal element from prostitution. For reference compare rural Nevada and it’s hundreds of brothels vs black-market prostitution in Vegas/Reno, HUGE difference.

  9. geo91 - Jan 9, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    Blow and prostitution, here we go!

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