Jan 8, 2013, 3:45 PM EST
Has there been a better combination in the whole history of combinations than “Brazil” and “Soccer?”
Which is why everyone is so fired up about Brazil 2014. It’s going to be “off the chain,” as the kids like to say, on a grand scale.
The game at highest level. The world’s greatest quadrennial soccer celebration. A fun-loving land where they dote on the nightlife, the dancing, the embrace of the beach and the party feast! This thing might wedge the world a half a degree off its axis.
Which is why everyone wants to be there.
But there’s something I tell everyone who grins and proclaims, in Samuel L. Jackson’s “Jules” voice from Pulp Fiction, “I’m going, and that’s just all there is to it!” I never want to be a buzz kill, but I honestly believe this:
It’s going to be a huge mess.
Logistics, ticketing (and counterfeit ticketing), hotels, inevitable pricing scandal, travel challenges across a huge land … everything! And can we talk about security? Violence in some Brazilian cities has long been sadly overwhelming.
So, yes it’s going to be fun – but it’s going to be a big ol’ mess.
The evidence will roll in periodically of how, uh, messy this thing is going to be. Like this story from today. It says that prostitutes in one of Brazil’s large cities will take English classes to maximize their profits during what we’ll cautiously call “business time.”
The story is based around quotes from Cida Vieira, president of the Association of Prostitutes in the city of Belo Horizonte. Which leads to the obvious question: “They have such an association!?”
Brazil 2014, folks! Suggested motto: “Come for the soccer … Stay for the party! (And try to stay out of trouble.)”
Dec 9, 2013, 11:34 PM EST
Whoever is next up in the Whitecaps’ managerial seat would surely love to have a 22-goal scorer to build around:
Dec 9, 2013, 10:50 PM EST
Still a highly regarded goalkeeper, Nielsen calls it quits just 48 hours after winning MLS Cup 2013:
Dec 9, 2013, 10:10 PM EST
Might the wandering Goats actually do something right?
Dec 9, 2013, 9:22 PM EST
Once again, Major League Soccer will become the globe’s first league to employ the new World Cup match ball:
Dec 9, 2013, 8:55 PM EST
Chicago’s Chris Rolfe, Houston’s Bobby Boswell, Seattle’s Steve Zakuani among the intriguing options:
Dec 9, 2013, 8:18 PM EST
Don’t miss the last save from the package, an absolute show-stopper from Aston Villa’s U.S. international Brad Guzan:
Dec 9, 2013, 8:01 PM EST
An alternative look at all the action from Week 15 of the PL:
Dec 9, 2013, 7:53 PM EST
Who says the MLS off-season is too short?
Dec 9, 2013, 7:30 PM EST
Round 15’s Team of the Week includes a throwback man in John Arne Riise:
Dec 9, 2013, 6:52 PM EST
FC Dallas had a busy day … but, uh, who is going to coach the team?
Dec 9, 2013, 6:32 PM EST
Martin Rogers of Yahoo! Sports talks about Arsenal, Manchester United and more:
Dec 9, 2013, 5:48 PM EST
One versus England potentially being arranged in Miami? And another against Canada ahead of next year’s World Cup?
Dec 9, 2013, 4:59 PM EST
Hull pick up a valuable road point as Swansea’s season of missed opportunities at home continues:
Dec 9, 2013, 3:59 PM EST
Major League Soccer has been steadfast on this one all along:
Dec 9, 2013, 2:48 PM EST
Can the Swans surge back into the top 10? Watch live on NBCSN:
Dec 9, 2013, 2:29 PM EST
We caught up with ‘beardless’ Howard after his impressive outing vs. Arsenal. Here’s what he had to say:
Dec 9, 2013, 1:27 PM EST
With a shortlist of over 50 names to choose from, what is your current best starting XI in world soccer?
Dec 9, 2013, 12:59 PM EST
With Michu in-line to return, could the Swans blow the Tigers away?
Dec 9, 2013, 12:06 PM EST
Moyes takes the blame but how much longer can he take the flack for his under-performing stars?
Dec 9, 2013, 11:20 AM EST
Do the Gunners have themselves to blame? Or were the Toffees just too good?
- Some very interesting names now available through Major League Soccer’s re-entry process 0
- Premier League Playback: Everton in the mix, miserable Mourinho, basement boys battling 0
- United States national team 2014 friendlies coming into view 2
- Swansea 1-1 Hull: Danny Graham breaks his long scoring drought for the visitors (video) 0
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- 2014 World Cup Draw: USA in Group of Death with Germany, Portugal, Ghana – Schedule, times, venues (33)
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- Now that we know the U.S. opponents, which 23 players should Jurgen Klinsmann bring to Brazil? (19)
- 2014 FIFA World Cup Draw: The sum of all fears scenario for the United States (17)
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- Q&A With Alvaro Saborio
- Ronaldo: "I Didn't See the Draw, I Was Asleep"
- Messi: "There Are no Easy Opponents"
- England Are up in The Amazon Without a Paddle
- Mexico's World Cup Kit
- Fernanda Lima Raises the Bar For World Cup 2014