Jan 8, 2013, 3:45 PM EST
Has there been a better combination in the whole history of combinations than “Brazil” and “Soccer?”
Which is why everyone is so fired up about Brazil 2014. It’s going to be “off the chain,” as the kids like to say, on a grand scale.
The game at highest level. The world’s greatest quadrennial soccer celebration. A fun-loving land where they dote on the nightlife, the dancing, the embrace of the beach and the party feast! This thing might wedge the world a half a degree off its axis.
Which is why everyone wants to be there.
But there’s something I tell everyone who grins and proclaims, in Samuel L. Jackson’s “Jules” voice from Pulp Fiction, “I’m going, and that’s just all there is to it!” I never want to be a buzz kill, but I honestly believe this:
It’s going to be a huge mess.
Logistics, ticketing (and counterfeit ticketing), hotels, inevitable pricing scandal, travel challenges across a huge land … everything! And can we talk about security? Violence in some Brazilian cities has long been sadly overwhelming.
So, yes it’s going to be fun – but it’s going to be a big ol’ mess.
The evidence will roll in periodically of how, uh, messy this thing is going to be. Like this story from today. It says that prostitutes in one of Brazil’s large cities will take English classes to maximize their profits during what we’ll cautiously call “business time.”
The story is based around quotes from Cida Vieira, president of the Association of Prostitutes in the city of Belo Horizonte. Which leads to the obvious question: “They have such an association!?”
Brazil 2014, folks! Suggested motto: “Come for the soccer … Stay for the party! (And try to stay out of trouble.)”
Mar 1, 2015, 7:17 PM EST
Two goals silenced the critics and got this Manchester man named Premier League Player of the Week.
Mar 1, 2015, 6:33 PM EST
Wes Brown was sent off in the Black Cats’ loss to Manchester United, despite the fact that John O’Shea seemingly committed the foul.
Mar 1, 2015, 5:46 PM EST
Coming off of an ugly midweek loss to Monaco, Arsenal responded perfectly with a 2-0 win over Everton.
Mar 1, 2015, 5:00 PM EST
The Stoke City midfielder needed 12-15 stitches in his calf after taking a challenge that manager Mark Hughes said could have ended his career.
Mar 1, 2015, 4:10 PM EST
The Argentinian winger was subbed out at halftime of Manchester United’s 2-0 win over Sunderland.
Mar 1, 2015, 3:20 PM EST
Playing in front of the back four due to Nemanja Matic’s absence, the 20-year-old French defender stood out to his boss.
Mar 1, 2015, 2:33 PM EST
He score two more goals, continuing the ridiculous stretch for Europe’s most in-form striker.
Mar 1, 2015, 1:52 PM EST
The USMNT regular scored his first club goal in over two years as Borussia Monchengladbach bounced back from a midweek Europa League disappointment.
Mar 1, 2015, 1:12 PM EST
The Liverpool manager was full of praise for his team after their high-energy performance against the defending champions.
Mar 1, 2015, 12:54 PM EST
Mourinho wins first trophy of his second spell in charge of Chelsea.
Mar 1, 2015, 11:50 AM EST
Chelsea have the upper hand, but can they see off Spurs at Wembley? Follow play-by-play, here.
Mar 1, 2015, 11:48 AM EST
The Manchester City boss gave props to Jordan Henderson and Philippe Coutinho, but threw his own players under the bus for not being able to hold onto the ball.
Mar 1, 2015, 11:15 AM EST
From 12 p.m. ET on Sunday, watch the “Invincibles” documentary live online.
Mar 1, 2015, 11:00 AM EST
Olivier Giroud atoned for his misses midweek with the game’s only goal as Everton had little to offer.
Mar 1, 2015, 9:15 AM EST
The Reds put in a stunning display, as City stumble yet again.
Mar 1, 2015, 9:01 AM EST
Copycat! A repeat of Jordan Henderson’s earlier strike saw the Brazilian down Manchester City late again, reminiscent of last year’s match.
Mar 1, 2015, 8:51 AM EST
Jordan Henderson opened things up with a fabulous strike, and Philippe Coutinho copied the script with the late winner.
Mar 1, 2015, 8:30 AM EST
Per Mertesacker has been dropped following Arsenal’s Champions League disappointment midweek.
Mar 1, 2015, 7:59 AM EST
On Premier League Live, Robbie Mustoe says he believes Arsenal need a change at the top, a move that would surely send shockwaves throughout English soccer.
Mar 1, 2015, 7:33 AM EST
Jordan Henderson opened the scoring at Anfield with a stunning goal inside 15 minutes.
- Chelsea 2-0 Tottenham Hotspur: Mourinho’s boys win League Cup trophy 0
- Three things we learned from Liverpool’s win vs. Manchester City 3
- Liverpool 2-1 Manchester City: Pair of Reds stunners stupefy City 4
- MLS roundup: LA Galaxy, Orlando, Red Bulls, Union, RSL, 13 others in preseason finales 0
- WATCH: NYCFC’s Mix Diskerud hits a screamer from 20 yards 0
- WATCH: Michael Bradley, Sebastian Giovinco combine for Jozy Altidore’s first Toronto FC goal 4