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Let’s talk about Brazil, World Cup, massive parties and … prostitution?

Jan 8, 2013, 3:45 PM EST

Jesus redeemer

Has there been a better combination in the whole history of combinations than “Brazil” and “Soccer?”

Which is why everyone is so fired up about Brazil 2014. It’s going to be “off the chain,” as the kids like to say, on a grand scale.

The game at highest level. The world’s greatest quadrennial soccer celebration. A fun-loving land where they dote on the nightlife, the dancing, the embrace of the beach and the party feast! This thing might wedge the world a half a degree off its axis.

Which is why everyone wants to be there.

But there’s something I tell everyone who grins and proclaims, in Samuel L. Jackson’s “Jules” voice from Pulp Fiction, “I’m going, and that’s just all there is to it!”  I never want to be a buzz kill, but I honestly believe this:

It’s going to be a huge mess.

Logistics, ticketing (and counterfeit ticketing), hotels, inevitable pricing scandal, travel challenges across a huge land … everything!  And can we talk about security? Violence in some Brazilian cities has long been sadly overwhelming.

So, yes it’s going to be fun – but it’s going to be a big ol’ mess.

The evidence will roll in periodically of how, uh, messy this thing is going to be. Like this story from today. It says that prostitutes in one of Brazil’s large cities will take English classes to maximize their profits during what we’ll cautiously call “business time.”

The story is based around quotes from Cida Vieira, president of the Association of Prostitutes in the city of Belo Horizonte. Which leads to the obvious question: “They have such an association!?”

Brazil 2014, folks!  Suggested motto: “Come for the soccer … Stay for the party!  (And try to stay out of trouble.)”

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