Chris Rolfe’s offseason withdrawals regimen

As everybody left Los Angeles last month after the Galaxy claimed their second-straight MLS Cup, it seemed like the realities of the shortest offseason in MLS history was upon us. No matter how much you love Major League Soccer, odds are you need a break, but a seven-week offseason before training camps started left little time for a reprieve.

Yet here we are, still more than a week out from when players will start reporting, and the itch is starting to return. You get a schedule, you start seeing some rumors come to fruition, and you want to see your teams in action.

Welcome to MLS withdrawals, a condition that leads most of us to spend excessive time on Twitter debating hypothetical scenarios that will prove inconsequential when we get our real life soccer back.

In Chicago, they have a very specific strain of the disease: #CF97Withdrawals. The symptoms are the same, but as attacker Chris Rolfe shows us (below), the treatments are much different.

Putting himself into a state of hibernation (dressed to resume play at a moment’s notice), Rolfe has got his withdrawals regimen down to the science:l

1. Go to sleep

2. Wake up.

3. Ask: Has the season started?

If YES, you’re ready to go. Great wardrobe choice!
If NO, return to step 1.

First kick’s less than two months away. Something tells me Chris Rolfe will be well-rested: