Jan 29, 2013, 2:35 PM EST
Thank goodness for a little morning spelunking into the research files on Mario Balotelli and the bizarre forces that have always ruled his head. Because I had completely forgotten about the women’s prison incident!
For pure entertainment, how awesome was this guy?
On the serious side briefly: Manchester City officials finally saw the light, belated as it was.
Balotelli was always going to be a problem and a burden. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the man-child of Manchester was always going to be a brooding figure in the City locker room, a taught trip wire ready to create destruction on the training ground or, worse yet, in a big match. Talented as the young Italian striker surely is, the club was always going to be better without him.
At the very least, City will be a more focused bunch without Balotelli’s selfish inclinations to overcome. Reports have the Italian giant paying about $31.5 million to bring Balotelli to the San Siro, where he will sign a 4 ½ -year deal pending a medical sign-off.
ProSoccerTalk’s Richard Farley smartly assessed the ins and out here. But (running back toward the light a little) it is worth a few minutes to look back at exactly why City is a better, more stable place today.
One story I read says Balotelli’s move to AC Milan ends a “turbulent” two and a half years at the Etihad. That’s a little like saying debate between democrats and republicans sometimes gets a “little snippy.”
This piece has a few humorous details on the women’s prison bit. Classic.
This rap sheet of wackiness from the Mirror – in fairness, the Mirror’s standard of truth goes about as high as single Thin Mint cookie, but still … – likes the unconfirmed report that his mom once dispatched Balotelli to pick up some cleaning supplies.
A few hours later, Mario’s car pulled up with a van behind – which promptly unloaded a giant trampoline, two Vespa scooters and no cleaning products whatsoever…”
She raised the kid; she’s presumably seen worse. Quite possibly on a weekly basis.
Those are the incidents that lean toward the wacky, but there were other moments where a truly darker element emerged, like his awful, potentially devastating tackle on Alex Song last spring.
The really crazy thing is this: the lists above were cobbled together at some point last year. Of Because Balotelli is nothing if not reliable, there have been additions since then, like the training ground scuffle with Mancini earlier this month.
The other crazy thing: these lists don’t share as many incidents as you might think. You see, when it comes to Mario Balotelli Moments of Madness, there’s a menu of choices that would make the freakin’ Cheesecake Factory blush.
- Looking back on 2013: Talking through Real Salt Lake’s path to MLS Cup 1
- WATCH: PST Extra – Will Everton upset Arsenal? Can Man United bounce back vs. Newcastle? 0
- Prindi’s Premier League Picks: Sunderland and Everton to upset odds 4
- Kyle Martino chats Andre Villas-Boas drama and Premier League parity 0
- Mike Magee Wins 2013 MLS Most Valuable Player Award 7
- USA fear toughest ever World Cup draw but relish chance to make history 6
- 2014 FIFA World Cup Draw: Everything you need to know 4
- Premier League Playback: Moyes needs more, Suarez is Superman, Altidore (finally) off the mark 9
- What US Soccer wants from the World Cup draw (22)
- Sit down with Orlando City SC: Taking on Beckham, emulating the Timbers and Kaka in 2015 – Part I (21)
- Video of Jermaine Jones’ terrific goal Saturday for Schalke (20)
- 2014 FIFA World Cup Draw: The sum of all fears scenario for the United States (17)
- World Cup Draw: United States in Pot Three (11)