Jan 29, 2013, 2:35 PM EDT
Thank goodness for a little morning spelunking into the research files on Mario Balotelli and the bizarre forces that have always ruled his head. Because I had completely forgotten about the women’s prison incident!
For pure entertainment, how awesome was this guy?
On the serious side briefly: Manchester City officials finally saw the light, belated as it was.
Balotelli was always going to be a problem and a burden. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the man-child of Manchester was always going to be a brooding figure in the City locker room, a taught trip wire ready to create destruction on the training ground or, worse yet, in a big match. Talented as the young Italian striker surely is, the club was always going to be better without him.
At the very least, City will be a more focused bunch without Balotelli’s selfish inclinations to overcome. Reports have the Italian giant paying about $31.5 million to bring Balotelli to the San Siro, where he will sign a 4 ½ -year deal pending a medical sign-off.
ProSoccerTalk’s Richard Farley smartly assessed the ins and out here. But (running back toward the light a little) it is worth a few minutes to look back at exactly why City is a better, more stable place today.
One story I read says Balotelli’s move to AC Milan ends a “turbulent” two and a half years at the Etihad. That’s a little like saying debate between democrats and republicans sometimes gets a “little snippy.”
This piece has a few humorous details on the women’s prison bit. Classic.
This rap sheet of wackiness from the Mirror – in fairness, the Mirror’s standard of truth goes about as high as single Thin Mint cookie, but still … – likes the unconfirmed report that his mom once dispatched Balotelli to pick up some cleaning supplies.
A few hours later, Mario’s car pulled up with a van behind – which promptly unloaded a giant trampoline, two Vespa scooters and no cleaning products whatsoever…”
She raised the kid; she’s presumably seen worse. Quite possibly on a weekly basis.
Those are the incidents that lean toward the wacky, but there were other moments where a truly darker element emerged, like his awful, potentially devastating tackle on Alex Song last spring.
The really crazy thing is this: the lists above were cobbled together at some point last year. Of Because Balotelli is nothing if not reliable, there have been additions since then, like the training ground scuffle with Mancini earlier this month.
The other crazy thing: these lists don’t share as many incidents as you might think. You see, when it comes to Mario Balotelli Moments of Madness, there’s a menu of choices that would make the freakin’ Cheesecake Factory blush.
Aug 30, 2015, 6:20 PM EDT
Catch up on all of this weekend’s action from Spain and Italy’s top flights.
Aug 30, 2015, 5:30 PM EDT
The French winger has played for Paris Saint-Germain, Juventus, and now Bayern Munich. All before his 20th birthday.
Aug 30, 2015, 4:38 PM EDT
Tim Howard and Geoff Cameron are back in the squad, while the relatively unknown Andrew Wooten gets his first call-up.
Aug 30, 2015, 4:00 PM EDT
In a managerial battle between the young Garry Monk and the veteran Louis van Gaal, the kid came out on top.
Aug 30, 2015, 3:05 PM EDT
After losing three matches all of last season, Juventus has now lost their first two games of the new campaign.
Aug 30, 2015, 2:08 PM EDT
The Manchester United manager believed his club got so comfortable on the ball that they lost their focus.
Aug 30, 2015, 1:38 PM EDT
Reports indicate the Saint-Etienne medical staff was initially afraid that the young striker had suffered a heart attack, but it appears the issues are just heat related.
Aug 30, 2015, 12:51 PM EDT
The Red Devils thought they’d picked up points at the Liberty Stadium, but Bafetimbi Gomis had other ideas.
Aug 30, 2015, 11:48 AM EDT
Juventus was in for the Schalke winger, but Wolfsburg now need a replacement for Kevin de Bruyne.
Aug 30, 2015, 11:12 AM EDT
Wolfsburg tried its darndest, but Kevin de Bruyne still decided to leave in favor of a crowded Manchester City squad.
Aug 30, 2015, 10:42 AM EDT
Manchester United has started the season strong, but they take on a team that beat them twice last season.
Aug 30, 2015, 10:22 AM EDT
Graziano Pelle grabbed the opener and Dusan Tadic finished it off with a brace as Southampton flew to its first win of the year.
Aug 30, 2015, 9:29 AM EDT
Could Valdes be forced to stay with Manchester United despite his obvious wish to leave?
Aug 30, 2015, 8:46 AM EDT
Oh the season hasn’t started yet? Jamie Maclaren wasn’t aware.
Aug 30, 2015, 7:50 AM EDT
Ronald Koeman must pick up a win fast or risk seeing Southampton in a serious early season hole.
Aug 30, 2015, 7:30 AM EDT
A single coach had yet to be fired as we approach the start of September, but that changed as Montreal made a change.
Aug 29, 2015, 11:37 PM EDT
The playoffs look a might big ask of RSL, as they sit rock bottom, 10th place, in the Western Conference.
Aug 29, 2015, 11:08 PM EDT
Three losses in a row for Sporting KC, and the team with the highest points-per-game total is slipping in the West.
Aug 29, 2015, 8:37 PM EDT
Man United fell twice at the hand of Swansea City in 2014-15. On Sunday, Louis van Gaal takes his crack at revenge.
Aug 29, 2015, 6:34 PM EDT
Michael Bradley powered TFC to a 2-1 victory in the 401 Derby, and essentially locked up a playoff place in doing so.
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