Skip to content

Mario Balotelli’s top moments of madness; the final Manchester City incident report

Jan 29, 2013, 2:35 PM EDT

Manchester City's Balotelli reacts during their English Premier League soccer match against Arsenal in London

Thank goodness for a little morning spelunking into the research files on Mario Balotelli and the bizarre forces that have always ruled his head. Because I had completely forgotten about the women’s prison incident!

For pure entertainment, how awesome was this guy?

On the serious side briefly: Manchester City officials finally saw the light, belated as it was.

Balotelli was always going to be a problem and a burden. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the man-child of Manchester was always going to be a brooding figure in the City locker room, a taught trip wire ready to create destruction on the training ground or, worse yet, in a big match. Talented as the young Italian striker surely is, the club was always going to be better without him.

At the very least, City will be a more focused bunch without Balotelli’s selfish inclinations to overcome. Reports have the Italian giant paying about $31.5 million to bring Balotelli to the San Siro, where he will sign a 4 ½ -year deal pending a medical sign-off.

ProSoccerTalk’s Richard Farley smartly assessed the ins and out here.  But (running back toward the light a little) it is worth a few minutes to look back at exactly why City is a better, more stable place today.

One story I read says Balotelli’s move to AC Milan ends a “turbulent” two and a half years at the Etihad. That’s a little like saying debate between democrats and republicans sometimes gets a “little snippy.”

This piece has a few humorous details on the women’s prison bit. Classic.

This rap sheet of wackiness from the Mirror – in fairness, the Mirror’s standard of truth goes about as high as single Thin Mint cookie, but still … – likes the unconfirmed report that his mom once dispatched Balotelli to pick up some cleaning supplies.

A few hours later, Mario’s car pulled up with a van behind – which promptly unloaded a giant trampoline, two Vespa scooters and no cleaning products whatsoever…”

She raised the kid; she’s presumably seen worse. Quite possibly on a weekly basis.

Those are the incidents that lean toward the wacky, but there were other moments where a truly darker element emerged, like his awful, potentially devastating tackle on Alex Song last spring.

The really crazy thing is this: the lists above were cobbled together at some point last year. Of Because Balotelli is nothing if not reliable, there have been additions since then, like the training ground scuffle with Mancini earlier this month.

The other crazy thing: these lists don’t share as many incidents as you might think. You see, when it comes to Mario Balotelli Moments of Madness, there’s a menu of choices that would make the freakin’ Cheesecake Factory blush.

Latest Posts
  1. Foot injury forces DF Hector Moreno to withdraw from Mexico’s 2015 Gold Cup squad

    Jun 29, 2015, 11:25 PM EDT

    Hector Moreno, Mexico — 2014 World Cup Hector Moreno, Mexico — 2014 World Cup

    A huge blow for Mexico as an injury will keep Mexico’s best defender off their Gold Cup squad.

  2. Club president: Ronaldinho has agreed terms with Turkish side Antalyaspor

    Jun 29, 2015, 10:26 PM EDT

    Ronaldinho, Queretaro — Liga MX (Mexico) Ronaldinho, Queretaro — Liga MX (Mexico)

    Ronaldinho is on the move again, and (thankfully) he’s not coming to MLS.

  3. Chile 2-1 Peru: Vargas’ wondergoal puts the hosts through to Copa America final (video)

    Jun 29, 2015, 9:23 PM EDT

    Eduardo Vargas, Chile — 2015 Copa America semifinal Eduardo Vargas, Chile — 2015 Copa America semifinal

    Chile will play for their first Copa America title on Saturday. A chance to make history at home.

  4. Dutch FA terminates Guus Hiddink’s contract amid EURO 2016 qualifying struggles

    Jun 29, 2015, 8:31 PM EDT

    Guus Hiddink, Netherlands Guus Hiddink, Netherlands

    Guus Hiddink is out as Dutch national team manager after less than a year in charge. Who do they turn to now, ahead of EURO 2016?

  5. The final before the final: United States, Germany meet in Women’s World Cup semifinal

    Jun 29, 2015, 7:04 PM EDT

    MONTREAL, QC - JUNE 29:  Alex Morgan of USA talks to the media during a press conference and training session prior to the FIFA Women's World Cup Semi Final match between USA and Germany at Olympic Stadium on June 29, 2015 in Montreal, Canada.  (Photo by Stuart Franklin - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images) Getty Images

    It’s No. 1 vs. No. 2 in the world, but it’s only a semifinal.

  6. FOLLOW LIVE — 2015 Copa America: Hosts Chile vs. Peru in semifinal no. 1

    Jun 29, 2015, 6:00 PM EDT

    Arturo Vidal, Chile Arturo Vidal, Chile

    By the end of tonight, either Chile or Peru will have booked their place in the final.

  7. MLS Player of the Week — Week 17: Portland Timbers’ Darlington Nagbe

    Jun 29, 2015, 5:10 PM EDT

    Darlington Nagbe, Portland Timbers — Photo credit: Craig Mitchelldyer - Portland Timbers Darlington Nagbe, Portland Timbers — Photo credit: Craig Mitchelldyer - Portland Timbers

    A goal and an assist — finally a dominant performance — in the weekend’s biggest rivalry game earns Darlington Nagbe POTW honors.

  8. MLS Team of the Week — Stars of Week 17

    Jun 29, 2015, 4:27 PM EDT

    Fanendo Adi, Portland Timbers Fanendo Adi, Portland Timbers

    “Rivalry Week” is in the books, and a number of derby day conquerors find themselves on the last MLS Team of the Week.

  9. Men in Blazers podcast special: USWNT’s Klingenberg talks defense, Germany, karate

    Jun 29, 2015, 3:21 PM EDT

    meninblazers

    Rog talks with the USWNT’s Meghan Klingenberg about the team’s lockdown defense, her karate training, and living with Jeff Van Gundy’s family.

  10. Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup fifth round preview: Cosmos look to do MLS’ N.Y. double, Charlotte hits Chicago

    Jun 29, 2015, 3:07 PM EDT

    New York Cosmos player Lucky Mkosana (R) greets teammate Spanish Raul Gonzalez (L) during a Cuba vs New York Cosmos friendly soccer match on June 2, 2015 at Pedro Marrero stadium in Havana. AFP PHOTO/YAMIL  LAGE        (Photo credit should read YAMIL LAGE/AFP/Getty Images) Getty Images

    Here’s what’s on tap for Tuesday and Wednesday as the USSF tournament stays regional.

  11. Report: Chinese side spends close to $15 million on Spurs’ Paulinho

    Jun 29, 2015, 12:52 PM EDT

    Paulinho's 63rd minute red card allowed a bright Liverpool attack even more space to work. Getty Images

    Guangzhou Evergrande have added a big name to their title charge in the Chinese Super League.

  12. Preview: Copa America semifinals — Can Peru, Paraguay stop an Argentina-Chile final?

    Jun 29, 2015, 11:39 AM EDT

    Paraguay's forward Derlis Gonzalez celebrates after scoring against Brazil during their 2015 Copa America football championship quarter-final match, in Concepcion, Chile, on June 27, 2015.  AFP PHOTO / NELSON ALMEIDA        (Photo credit should read NELSON ALMEIDA/AFP/Getty Images) Getty Images

    Many if not all neutral fans expect Argentina and Chile to make it through their Copa America semifinals en route to a border battle final.

  13. It’s official: Petr Cech has swapped London clubs, Chelsea to Arsenal

    Jun 29, 2015, 10:45 AM EDT

    Arsenal.com Arsenal.com

    That picture is weird, but we’ll get used to it once the Premier League season begins in August.

  14. 2015 Major League Soccer power rankings, Volume V: ‘Caps cap, Quakes shake up the Top Five

    Jun 29, 2015, 10:06 AM EDT

    cD05ODdlNmNhY2MwMjRlZWQzNTJhM2ViYTQ1Y2VlY2YzOCZnPWYzZDIwZmI4ODJlMjBlNjI2ZmZmN2JiMjRkOWM3ZjM4 Getty Images

    Less talking, more ranking. Feel free to debate in the comments section.

  15. Spanish football league becomes first to take legal action over Qatar World Cup dates

    Jun 29, 2015, 8:30 AM EDT

    MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 10: Javier Tebas, President of Liga de Futbol Profesional during the Soccerex European Forum Conference Programme on September 10, 2014 in Manchester, England.  (Photo by Dave Thompson/Getty Images) Getty Images

    FIFA’s weather-related move of the 2022 World Cup from to November-December has its first legal challenge.

  16. England’s case of World Cup fever just what the doctor ordered for women’s soccer in Britain

    Jun 29, 2015, 7:57 AM EDT

    during the FIFA Women's World Cup 2015 Round of 16 match between Norway and England at Lansdowne Stadium on June 22, 2015 in Ottawa, Canada. Getty Images

    Could women’s football in England be en route to a Brandi Chastain moment of their own?

  17. WATCH: Pirlo, Van Persie, others play head-tennis game in Miami

    Jun 28, 2015, 11:37 PM EDT

    Juventus v FC Barcelona - UEFA Champions League Final Getty Images

    Some vacationing footballers enjoying a bit of head-tennis

Featured video

PST Extra: Sterling & latest transfer gossip