Jan 29, 2013, 2:35 PM EDT
Thank goodness for a little morning spelunking into the research files on Mario Balotelli and the bizarre forces that have always ruled his head. Because I had completely forgotten about the women’s prison incident!
For pure entertainment, how awesome was this guy?
On the serious side briefly: Manchester City officials finally saw the light, belated as it was.
Balotelli was always going to be a problem and a burden. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the man-child of Manchester was always going to be a brooding figure in the City locker room, a taught trip wire ready to create destruction on the training ground or, worse yet, in a big match. Talented as the young Italian striker surely is, the club was always going to be better without him.
At the very least, City will be a more focused bunch without Balotelli’s selfish inclinations to overcome. Reports have the Italian giant paying about $31.5 million to bring Balotelli to the San Siro, where he will sign a 4 ½ -year deal pending a medical sign-off.
ProSoccerTalk’s Richard Farley smartly assessed the ins and out here. But (running back toward the light a little) it is worth a few minutes to look back at exactly why City is a better, more stable place today.
One story I read says Balotelli’s move to AC Milan ends a “turbulent” two and a half years at the Etihad. That’s a little like saying debate between democrats and republicans sometimes gets a “little snippy.”
This piece has a few humorous details on the women’s prison bit. Classic.
This rap sheet of wackiness from the Mirror – in fairness, the Mirror’s standard of truth goes about as high as single Thin Mint cookie, but still … – likes the unconfirmed report that his mom once dispatched Balotelli to pick up some cleaning supplies.
A few hours later, Mario’s car pulled up with a van behind – which promptly unloaded a giant trampoline, two Vespa scooters and no cleaning products whatsoever…”
She raised the kid; she’s presumably seen worse. Quite possibly on a weekly basis.
Those are the incidents that lean toward the wacky, but there were other moments where a truly darker element emerged, like his awful, potentially devastating tackle on Alex Song last spring.
The really crazy thing is this: the lists above were cobbled together at some point last year. Of Because Balotelli is nothing if not reliable, there have been additions since then, like the training ground scuffle with Mancini earlier this month.
The other crazy thing: these lists don’t share as many incidents as you might think. You see, when it comes to Mario Balotelli Moments of Madness, there’s a menu of choices that would make the freakin’ Cheesecake Factory blush.
Oct 21, 2014, 3:49 PM EDT
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Oct 21, 2014, 3:42 PM EDT
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Oct 21, 2014, 3:36 PM EDT
It’s an absolute shellacking going into half-time with Bayern giving a masterclass display in Roma.
Oct 21, 2014, 3:00 PM EDT
It’s the right move for Philly, especially given the man management shown by Curtin.
Oct 21, 2014, 2:48 PM EDT
Pellegrini defiant despite City blowing a 2-0 lead in Moscow.
Oct 21, 2014, 2:07 PM EDT
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Oct 21, 2014, 2:01 PM EDT
City chuck away 2-0 lead in Russian capital, as UCL hopes hang in the balance.
Oct 21, 2014, 1:21 PM EDT
We’re going to have to have a talk about the presupposed power of the superior West at some point soon.
Oct 21, 2014, 12:58 PM EDT
City storming towards their first UCL win of the season in snowy Moscow.
Oct 21, 2014, 11:40 AM EDT
Is it enough to tip the scales for Liverpool, or will one of Real’s bevy of offensive stars step in to help stop the Reds’ European hopes?
Oct 21, 2014, 10:47 AM EDT
A final week La Liga match in 2011 has been under investigation for a while, and now former Real Zaragoza player Herrera is under scrutiny.
Oct 21, 2014, 10:01 AM EDT
A trio of Columbus players joins a regular New England nominee to battle names like Barnes, Martins and Husidic for our weekly honors.
Oct 21, 2014, 9:08 AM EDT
Find out which players were selected for the Round 8 team of the week in the Premier League.
Oct 21, 2014, 8:23 AM EDT
Harold Mayne-Nicholls’ plan would be a boon for US television viewers, but would it sit well with the players?
Oct 21, 2014, 7:38 AM EDT
‘Twas an easy decision for the awards-givers this week, as Sergio Aguero struck not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times.
Oct 21, 2014, 12:10 AM EDT
Paderborn hasn’t stopped winning or scoring insane goals, if you haven’t noticed.
Oct 20, 2014, 11:29 PM EDT
Actor Mark Consuelos made his way to the Crap Part of Soho while the Men In Blazers tried to keep the ball out of their own net.
Oct 20, 2014, 10:47 PM EDT
Bayern Munich have a very difficult match on the road in Italy, while other matchups in Spain, Russia, and Germany will all prove enjoyable.
Oct 20, 2014, 9:28 PM EDT
Meghan Klingenberg bagged a laser beam for her first US goal and Abby Wambach grabbed two as the Americans will move on to the semifinals.
Oct 20, 2014, 8:42 PM EDT
Manchester Police confirmed a man was arrested after flying a drone over the match that entertained 45,000 people.
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