Skip to content

Over/under on Carlos Ruiz time at D.C. United? Let’s go with “six months”

Feb 21, 2013, 11:03 AM EDT

Guatemala's Ruiz keeps his eyes on the ball as he battles for it against Bocanegra of the U.S. during 2014 World Cup qualifying soccer match in Kansas City

Yes, Carlos Ruiz will continue to be a little bundle of frustration for opposition defenses; truly, he is one of the most confounding men ever to wear an MLS kit.

And, yes, Ruiz’s historic striking proficiency is impressive. His raw numbers speak volumes, as Ruiz owns one of the best goals-to-games ratio Major League Soccer has yet seen.

But I’m calling it right here: the hook-up with D.C. United will not work.

United signed the Guatemalan striker Wednesday, turning over the hour glass on a fifth MLS team for Ruiz.

First, Ruiz is 33. And it’s a hard 33. He was never a player ultimately interested in fitness and taking care of himself as a professional should. He’s the anti-Dwayne De Rosario that way. “De Ro” has always gone to great lengths to professionally look after his body.

Second, United manager Ben Olsen isn’t going to put up with Ruiz’s shenanigans. He won’t if he’s smart, at least. First time Ruiz turns up AWOL – it happened a lot in his days in Dallas – Olsen should personally clean out the man’s locker, leave the contents in a box and set it outside RFK Stadium for collection whenever Ruiz gets back into the city.

Nor will Olsen put up with Ruiz’s lack of attention to defensive detail and duty. He can’t just drag himself around the field awaiting his next chance to post up as a target. Especially not when fellow United striker Lionard Pajoy is around, a guy who doesn’t have Ruiz’s finishing skill or instincts but who is definitely willing to put in the work.

Ruiz is done with the Guatemalan national team, so that potential distraction is no longer in play. (Ruiz’s previous episodes of going AWOL were frequently attached to trips back home, when his return was mysteriously delayed on several occasions.)

And since he is 33, and since this is his eighth club since 2007 – indicating that Ruiz wears out his welcome quite quickly – perhaps the combative striker will get it. Perhaps he’ll get in line, recognizing that his window of collecting a paycheck in pro soccer is closing.

I rather doubt it, and history is on my side here.

Good luck to him. Despite it all, Ruiz has always been a likeable sort.

Still, I put the over/under on his RFK stay at six months. Which side are you taking?

Latest Posts
  1. WATCH: Aurelien Chedjou and a flying own goal under zero pressure

    Mar 30, 2015, 10:15 PM EDT

    FBL-AFR-2015-MATCH16-CMR-GUI Getty Images

    Fortunately for Chedjou, Cameroon came back to beat Thailand 3-2.

  2. MLS Team of the Week — Stars of Week 4

    Mar 30, 2015, 9:24 PM EDT

    NE Revolution Vs. San Jose Earthquakes At Gillette Stadium Getty Images

    Lads and ladies, men and women, dudes and dudettes, it’s going to be a bit of an odd week for the MLS Team of the Week here on PST.

  3. Organizers apologize for Salvadoran national anthem mix-up in Washington (video)

    Mar 30, 2015, 8:40 PM EDT

    El Salvador

    The anthem that blared over the loudspeaker happened to belong to Isle of Man, not on-field participants El Salvador.

  4. Missing University of California, Berkeley men’s player Eloi Vasquez confirmed dead

    Mar 30, 2015, 7:46 PM EDT

    Eloi Vasquez

    Reports say he was lost after leaving a fraternity party near the University of Southern California.

  5. MLS Player of the Week — Week 4

    Mar 30, 2015, 7:20 PM EDT

    Kaka AP

    Who claimed the honors for Week 4 in Major League Soccer? The only former Ballon d’Or winner in the league!

  6. NWSL mega deal sends Sydney Leroux Dwyer to WNY for rights to Abby Wambach

    Mar 30, 2015, 6:26 PM EDT

    SRFC_Sydney_Leroux_5_4-23-14

    The Western New York Flash are reaping the rewards of Abby Wambach’s refusal to play ball.

  7. UEFA begins investigation into fan, on-field chaos in Russia/Montenegro match

    Mar 30, 2015, 5:49 PM EDT

    Russia's Igor Akinfeev hit by flare at Montenegro, match later abandoned Getty Images

    Just last week, UEFA president Michel Platini issued concerns over the uptick in hooliganism.

  8. Prolific U.S. U-17 striker chooses club home in NASL

    Mar 30, 2015, 5:00 PM EDT

    Haji Wright Wearing Cosmos Jersey March 30 2015

    Wright helped the U.S. qualify for this summer’s U-17 World Cup, and recorded 18 goals and 7 assists in 22 games for the side.

  9. WATCH: Andy Najar’s wonder goal helps Honduras into 2015 Gold Cup

    Mar 30, 2015, 4:09 PM EDT

    FBL-CONCACAF-GOLD-CUP-QUALIFIERS-HND-GUF Getty Images

    The tournament begins July 7, with Los Catrachos facing the USMNT in Frisco, Texas.

  10. How will the USMNT line up against Switzerland?

    Mar 30, 2015, 3:27 PM EDT

    USMNT Getty Images

    Few have successfully predicted the erratic USMNT lineups over the last few months, but here’s our best shot.

  11. Agent: Memphis Depay has had no contact with Manchester United

    Mar 30, 2015, 2:29 PM EDT

    Depay Getty Images

    The Dutchman’s agent says he has not spoken with any teams, including the Red Devils.

  12. Former Barcelona star claims he despises Louis van Gaal

    Mar 30, 2015, 1:32 PM EDT

    Stoichkov Getty Images

    A salty relationship between the Bulgarian striker and his Dutch boss led to the “Dream Team” member departing Barcelona a year later.

  13. Napoli forward Mertens will send aid to African village after seeing schoolboy in his shirt

    Mar 30, 2015, 11:15 AM EDT

    Mertens Getty Images

    The 27-year-old Belgian saw a picture that touched him enough to reach out.

  14. Akinfeev fully recovered from flare incident, likely to play vs Zenit this weekend

    Mar 30, 2015, 10:39 AM EDT

    Akinfeev AP

    After being knocked unconscious by a flare, the Russian shot-stopper will be fit to play a crucial league match this weekend.

  15. British exec says England could look towards 2030 World Cup bid

    Mar 30, 2015, 9:21 AM EDT

    Gill Getty Images

    England has refrained from bidding for World Cups since their relationship with Sepp Blatter has soured, but that could change in the next vote or two.

  16. Neymar furious after Medel tackle goes unpunished in physical friendly

    Mar 30, 2015, 8:20 AM EDT

    NeymarMedel AP

    Barcelona striker Neymar was furious with former Premier League defender Gary Medel, who clattered him hard during the first half of a physical match.

  17. Chicharito unleashes on Real Madrid, “frustrated” with a life on the bench

    Mar 30, 2015, 7:50 AM EDT

    Chicharito Getty Images

    The 26-year-old scored for the Mexican team this weekend, but remains frustrated at the club level.

  18. Report: Man United target Nathaniel Clyne won’t decide his future until summer

    Mar 29, 2015, 11:27 PM EDT

    Nathaniel Clyne, Southampton FC Nathaniel Clyne, Southampton FC

    Are Saints about to lose another young star to one of the Premier League’s “big five?” We’ll find out this summer.

Featured video

Week 30: Headline PL moment