Skip to content

Over/under on Carlos Ruiz time at D.C. United? Let’s go with “six months”

Feb 21, 2013, 11:03 AM EDT

Guatemala's Ruiz keeps his eyes on the ball as he battles for it against Bocanegra of the U.S. during 2014 World Cup qualifying soccer match in Kansas City

Yes, Carlos Ruiz will continue to be a little bundle of frustration for opposition defenses; truly, he is one of the most confounding men ever to wear an MLS kit.

And, yes, Ruiz’s historic striking proficiency is impressive. His raw numbers speak volumes, as Ruiz owns one of the best goals-to-games ratio Major League Soccer has yet seen.

But I’m calling it right here: the hook-up with D.C. United will not work.

United signed the Guatemalan striker Wednesday, turning over the hour glass on a fifth MLS team for Ruiz.

First, Ruiz is 33. And it’s a hard 33. He was never a player ultimately interested in fitness and taking care of himself as a professional should. He’s the anti-Dwayne De Rosario that way. “De Ro” has always gone to great lengths to professionally look after his body.

Second, United manager Ben Olsen isn’t going to put up with Ruiz’s shenanigans. He won’t if he’s smart, at least. First time Ruiz turns up AWOL – it happened a lot in his days in Dallas – Olsen should personally clean out the man’s locker, leave the contents in a box and set it outside RFK Stadium for collection whenever Ruiz gets back into the city.

Nor will Olsen put up with Ruiz’s lack of attention to defensive detail and duty. He can’t just drag himself around the field awaiting his next chance to post up as a target. Especially not when fellow United striker Lionard Pajoy is around, a guy who doesn’t have Ruiz’s finishing skill or instincts but who is definitely willing to put in the work.

Ruiz is done with the Guatemalan national team, so that potential distraction is no longer in play. (Ruiz’s previous episodes of going AWOL were frequently attached to trips back home, when his return was mysteriously delayed on several occasions.)

And since he is 33, and since this is his eighth club since 2007 – indicating that Ruiz wears out his welcome quite quickly – perhaps the combative striker will get it. Perhaps he’ll get in line, recognizing that his window of collecting a paycheck in pro soccer is closing.

I rather doubt it, and history is on my side here.

Good luck to him. Despite it all, Ruiz has always been a likeable sort.

Still, I put the over/under on his RFK stay at six months. Which side are you taking?

Latest Posts
  1. Real Madrid’s Perez says De Gea move failed because Manchester United lacks transfer “experience”

    Sep 4, 2015, 8:22 AM EDT

    Perez says a move that should’ve taken an hour “took eight”, and blasted the Red Devils’ chairman by using examples from 2013.

  2. Providence and its big American striker Mac Steeves are off to a red-hot start (video)

    Sep 4, 2015, 8:00 AM EDT

    PC Men's soccer versus Monmouth, Aug. 30, 2015. (Photo/Stew Milne) PC Men's soccer versus Monmouth, Aug. 30, 2015. (Photo/Stew Milne)

    A 6-foot-4 American striker has Providence aiming for another College Cup, and U.S. Soccer fans on notice.

  3. Now flush with “Candy Crush” cash, Derby County aiming for Premier League return

    Sep 3, 2015, 9:39 PM EDT

    Derby County v Reading - Capital One Cup Third Round Getty Images

    As it turns out, Candy Crush was worth a lot of money. So much money, in fact, that Mel Morris bought his boyhood football club.

  4. Preview: USMNT to face Peru in tune-up for CONCACAF playoff vs. Mexico

    Sep 3, 2015, 8:37 PM EDT

    Panama v United States: Third Place - 2015 CONCACAF Gold Cup Panama v United States: Third Place - 2015 CONCACAF Gold Cup

    The USMNT returns to action for the first time since finishing fourth at the 2015 Gold Cup. Their playoff vs. Mexico is 37 days away.

  5. Italy’s Serie B to introduce “green cards” for good behavior this weekend

    Sep 3, 2015, 6:45 PM EDT

    Modena FC v AC Cesena - Serie B Playoffs Getty Images

    This weekend, referees will begin dishing out green cards, which mean absolutely nothing.

  6. EURO 2016 qualifying roundup: Iceland beat Netherlands (again), are all but qualified

    Sep 3, 2015, 5:55 PM EDT

    Gylfi Sigurdsson, Iceland & Swansea City FC Gylfi Sigurdsson, Iceland & Swansea City FC

    Tiny, tiny Iceland are all but qualified for next summer’s EUROs after beating the might Netherlands…again.

  7. England U-21s 1-0 USA U-23s: Defeat in England as Olympic qualifying looms

    Sep 3, 2015, 4:51 PM EDT

    Mario Rodriguez, USMNT U-23 Mario Rodriguez, USMNT U-23

    With Olympic qualifying less than a month away, final tune-ups are underway for the US U-23 squad.

  8. If you’ve ever criticized Jurgen Klinsmann or his USMNT, you don’t understand soccer

    Sep 3, 2015, 4:20 PM EDT

    Jurgen Klinsmann, USMNT Jurgen Klinsmann, USMNT

    Jurgen Klinsmann’s latest comments confirm what we’ve assumed all along: he believes he is immune to criticism.

  9. VIDEO: Should we be worried about Manchester United after huge overhaul?

    Sep 3, 2015, 2:00 PM EDT

    Manchester United v Newcastle United - Premier League Getty Images

    Red Devils have ripped apart their title-winning team from 2013. Will things settle down anytime soon?

  10. How will USMNT line up in friendly vs. Peru?

    Sep 3, 2015, 1:10 PM EDT

    Cameron-Austria

    Three options for the starting XI at RFK Stadium on Friday.

  11. Bayern Munich to set up refugee “training camp” as humanitarian crisis deepens

    Sep 3, 2015, 11:20 AM EDT

    cd0ymzcznguwzdbhnduynddiytjhm2yyzthlmtjjotqwyyznpwe2ymq2mgvlzdu1owi2mjvkzmiwogy1ztfinwfjy2q5 AP

    German champs taking a stand to help the growing number of asylum seekers arriving in Munich.

  12. VIDEO: Cicerone scores another screamer in college soccer

    Sep 3, 2015, 9:36 AM EDT

    Source: @BullsMensSoccer Source: @BullsMensSoccer

    After his game-winner from halfway last season, Cicerone is at it again.

  13. USMNT move up one spot in latest FIFA World rankings

    Sep 3, 2015, 8:40 AM EDT

    Michael Bradley, USMNT Michael Bradley, USMNT

    Klinsmann’s side move up, but remain out of the top 20.

  14. Premier League Deadline Day podcast

    Sep 2, 2015, 9:57 PM EDT

    DeGea Getty Images

    The NBC Deadline Day show is here in podcast form.

  15. Martial transfer fee from Manchester United trickles down to French lower tier team

    Sep 2, 2015, 9:32 PM EDT

    Martial Getty Images

    A fraction of the transfer fee has made its way to the lower division team in France that helped mold Anthony Martial into the $55 million player he is today.

  16. Men In Blazers Podcast: Deadline Day recap and Chelsea loses again

    Sep 2, 2015, 8:18 PM EDT

    meninblazers

    Rog and Davo break down Chelsea’s loss to Crystal Palace and Swansea’s stylish win over Manchester United. Plus, a recap of transfer deadline day.

Featured video

PST Extra: Analyzing transfer deadline day