Jan 10, 2014, 2:42 PM EDT
A week off from the Premier League was far too long.
But don’t despair, the world’s greatest league is back this weekend and there are some dandy fixtures on the slate.
So as always I sat down, crunched the numbers and figured out exactly how every match will turn out. Sort of.
Hull City v. Chelsea (Sat 7:45am ET on NBCSN; KC Stadium)
When these two sides last met it was the first match of the season and Chelsea were sensational . . . for the first half. Then they took their foot off the gas and nearly got tiger-balmed. Well, not quite. But Hull have been mighty impressive at home and wouldn’t it be so Chelsea to drop points as soon as everyone thinks they’re clicking?
Paint me orange and call me Roary.
Hull City 2 Chelsea 2
Southampton v. West Bromwich Albion (Sat 10:00 ET on Live Extra; St Mary’s Stadium)
Remember in the beginning of the season when Southampton were Top 4 and all the Premier League newbys were adopting the Saints as their team? Ahhhh, good times.
But I’m not gonna beat up Southampton too much – I think they’re still a quality club with a lot of talent. West Brom, however . . . West Brom is weird. Real weird.
Southampton 1 West Bromwich Albion 2
Newcastle United v. Manchester City (Sun 9:05 ET on NBCSN; St James’ Park)
Newcastle are a frisky bunch of dudes. Cabaye, Santon, Tiote, Sissoko, Gouffran. These guys all have that edge — a bit of half-punk that makes them think it might just be possible to beat City.
But then you factor in that Tim Krul is out injured and a victory gets to be pretty far fetched. A draw, however, is entirely possible.
Newcastle 2 Manchester City 2
Cardiff City v. West Ham United (Sat 10:00 ET on Live Extra; Cardiff City Stadium)
Gotta admit, I’m a big fan of the Ole Gunnar hire. Who knew Vincent Tan had it in him? (Sanity, that is.)
Solskjaer led his side to an impressive 2-1 FA Cup win at Newcastle United on Saturday and has already signed the glorious Norweigian playmaker Magnus Wolff Eikrem. Fear the Wolff.
Cardiff City 2 West Ham United 0
Everton v. Norwich City (Sat 10:00 ET on Live Extra; Goodison Park)
Bobby Martinez has concerns over Barkley, Distin, Jagielka and Baines. Evertonians have concerns over losing to crap teams. No offense, Norwich. But you know . . . you’re kinda crap.
Everton 3 Norwich 2
Stoke City v. Liverpool (Sun 11:10 ET on NBCSN; Britannia Stadium)
Injuries to Agger, Sakho, Enrique, Flanagan present some problems for Liverpool but who do they need to contain? Big daddy Crouch? Yeah, I think they’ll be ok.
Stoke 0 Liverpool 2
Aston Villa v. Arsenal (Mon 3:00 ET on NBSN; Villa Park)
Tasty little Monday evening fixture here and if Aston Villa could at least pretend like playing at home gave them even a slight advantage they might be able to compete. But they don’t and they won’t.
Aston Villa 1 Arsenal 4
SQUEAKY BUM TIME
Fulham v. Sunderland (Sat 10:00 ET on Live Extra; Craven Cottage)
Dempsey + Altidore + 6 point relegation battle = American soccer fans dream. Fire up that Live Extra!!!
Fulham 1 Sunderland 0
Tottenham Hotspur v. Crystal Palace (Sat 10:00 ET on NBCSN; White Hart Lane)
Half of Tottenham’s team is injured but c’mon man! I refuse to believe they’re going to lose a derby match at home to Palace. No way, no how.
Tottenham 1 Palace 0
Manchester United v. Swansea City (Sat 12:30 ET on NBC; Old Trafford)
‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’
After losing 2-1 to Swansea at Old Trafford last weekend, that has to be United’s mentality going into Saturday’s match. No Rooney. No Van Persie. No problem (well, sort of).
Manchester United 2 Swansea City 1
Apr 23, 2014, 7:32 AM EDT
This is a massive break for the Blaugranas and will no doubt be met with consternation by its rivals.
Champions League preview: Defending champion Bayern Munich looks to end Real Madrid quest for 10th title
Apr 23, 2014, 6:12 AM EDT
Bayern is two steps away from back-to-back titles. Real Madrid’s the same distance from its decima.
Apr 22, 2014, 10:31 PM EDT
Ferguson has kept quiet during the club’s latest transition, but according to reporting Tuesday night, he’ll play a part in finding David Moyes’ replacement.
Apr 22, 2014, 9:14 PM EDT
With injuries forcing his hand, the Blues’ boss wants to concentrate on Champions League.
Apr 22, 2014, 7:51 PM EDT
They only took one point from Vancouver, but LA Galaxy won three spots in this week’s Best XI.
Apr 22, 2014, 6:28 PM EDT
Chelsea boss has a big job on his hands ahead of the second leg:
Apr 22, 2014, 6:05 PM EDT
Mourinho’s approach; Lampard’s card; and the Blues’ two big injuries.
Apr 22, 2014, 4:55 PM EDT
Chelsea do a job on Atleti, as everything’s up for grabs in the second leg:
Apr 22, 2014, 4:47 PM EDT
Evoking memories of their 2012 championship run, the Blues played out a scoreless draw in leg one.
Apr 22, 2014, 4:06 PM EDT
He missed out on our award in Week One. Six weeks later, those no denying the RSL number one.
Apr 22, 2014, 2:17 PM EDT
Excepting Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United Supporters Trust is really not fond of any higher-up at the club right now.
Apr 22, 2014, 1:56 PM EDT
The lineups are out for Tuesday’s UEFA Champions League semifinal first leg between Atletico Madrid and Chelsea in Spain.
Apr 22, 2014, 12:58 PM EDT
As much as he loves the club, perhaps even Giggs knows he’s not completely ready for the gig.
Apr 22, 2014, 12:02 PM EDT
A lost Super Bowl bet means Colorado defender Shane O’Neill will be enjoying a gooey treat courtesy of Seattle’s DeAndre Yedlin.
Apr 22, 2014, 11:20 AM EDT
The celebration has now cost Anelka a job, West Bromwich Albion some sponsors and Sagbo some money.
Apr 22, 2014, 11:05 AM EDT
Replacing Sir Alex was always a tall order, but Moyes never seemed to fit.
Apr 22, 2014, 10:48 AM EDT
So far head coach Mark Hughes likes what he’s seen.
Apr 22, 2014, 10:00 AM EDT
“We are no longer favorites,” said the Dutchman.
Apr 22, 2014, 9:10 AM EDT
David Moyes is out at Manchester United after less than a year. How did we get here?
Apr 22, 2014, 8:58 AM EDT
The hotseat at United just got hotter, but has it become a no-win situation for potential successors?
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