Skip to content

Calling the police is not a proper reaction to Manchester United losing a Cup tie, nor will they patch you through to Sir Alex Ferguson

Jan 23, 2014, 9:07 AM EDT

File photo of Britain's Alex Ferguson at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts awards Reuters

“Hello you’ve reached the police, how can I help?”

“Yeah, could I speak to Sir Alex Ferguson, please?”

“Not by the 999 line, I’m afraid.”

So begins an entertaining, yet completely inappropriate, call to the GMP Manchester North after Manchester United’s loss to Sunderland in Thursday’s second leg of the Capital One Cup semi-finals. A supporter was so filled with alcohol disgust at the Red Devils performance that he needed to speak with Sir Alex Ferguson.

And what better way to get a hold of him than by dialing 999 (England’s version of 911)?

The Manchester Evening News has the audio here, and it’s might as well be a radio show’s comedy bit.

After the initial exchange of pleasantries, the caller goes on to ask for his hero again.

CALLER: “Sir Alex Ferguson… the result is all wrong. You have extra time and it was a total and utter load of rubbish.”

OPERATOR: “Sir, you’re actually on the 999 police line. Is there any crime you need to report to the police this evening?”

CALLER: “Yeah, a crime. I’ll report a crime.”

OPERATOR: “And what crime is that?”

CALLER: “The crime is that Manchester United, Manchester United, were absolutely knackered.”

Look, I’d be troubled, too, if I just watched my favorite team put on a show that could’ve been titled, “My First Penalty Kicks,” but I like to think that even a 100 bottles of single malt wouldn’t have me on the horn with the local emergency line (Seriously, the call is funny for the absurdity of it but I don’t need to hear about it happening in your town, despite what Chuck D. might proffer).

If you’re doubting the validity, here’s the Facebook page for the police (who are gifted in both dry humor and social media):

source:

Truly.

Latest Posts
  1. Premier League Preview: Chelsea vs. Sunderland

    May 22, 2015, 4:40 PM EDT

    Britain Soccer Premier League AP

    Preview of Chelsea-Sunderland match on Championship Sunday, available to watch on NBCSN beginning at 10 a.m. ET.

  2. Americans Abroad preview: Guzan benched, Friedel could make farewell appearance

    May 22, 2015, 3:54 PM EDT

    Colchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - Pre Season Friendly Getty Images

    As usual, several Americans are ready to take the pitch in Europe this weekend.

  3. Premier League Preview: Newcastle United vs. West Ham United

    May 22, 2015, 3:20 PM EDT

    Newcastle United v West Bromwich Albion - Premier League Getty Images

    If the Magpies win they will survive on the final day. Watch them host West Ham live on USA, online via Live Extra, 10 a.m. ET.

  4. Report: Bad-boy Dani Osvaldo linked with move to New York Red Bulls

    May 22, 2015, 2:52 PM EDT

    Dani Osvaldo, Inter Milan Dani Osvaldo, Inter Milan

    Are the Red Bulls willing to take a risk on Osvaldo to bolster their attacking options?

  5. Premier League Preview: Hull City vs. Manchester United

    May 22, 2015, 2:08 PM EDT

    Tottenham Hotspur v Hull City - Premier League Getty Images

    Can the Tigers pull off a “great escape” on the final day? Watch live on NBC at 10 a.m. ET on Sunday.

  6. Louis van Gaal believes David De Gea will stay at Manchester United

    May 22, 2015, 1:20 PM EDT

    Liverpool v Manchester United - Premier League Getty Images

    The Red Devils boss is confident DDG will be around next season.

  7. TV SCHEDULE: Premier League finale – 10 games, 10 channels on Championship Sunday

    May 22, 2015, 12:40 PM EDT

    CFnp4ZXUMAEF99h

    Here’s how and where to watch every PL game on the final day of the season.

  8. Geoff Cameron takes us behind-the-scenes at Stoke City

    May 22, 2015, 11:15 AM EDT

    Geoff is finishing the season strong and is working on his upper-body. Geoff is finishing the season strong and is working on his upper-body.

    In his latest blog, our man in the PL gives us a glimpse of what life is like at Stoke’s training ground.

  9. MLS gossip: Del Piero, Cisse, De Rossi all linked with moves to the US

    May 22, 2015, 10:30 AM EDT

    UEFA Champions League Final - AC Milan v Liverpool Getty Images

    It’s that time of year again ladies and gents. Get ready for the rumors regarding European veterans heading to MLS.

  10. David Luiz hits out, dismisses reports of him being a “virgin”

    May 22, 2015, 9:56 AM EDT

    FBL-FRA-LIGUE1-LIGUE2-UNFP-AWARDS FBL-FRA-LIGUE1-LIGUE2-UNFP-AWARDS

    The Brazilian defender wants to put the record straight. David, over to you…

  11. Jose Mourinho, Eden Hazard win Premier League Manager, Player of the Year awards

    May 22, 2015, 9:00 AM EDT

    After already winning two trophies this season, Chelsea cleaned up once again.

  12. Brendan Rodgers insists Raheem Sterling will remain at Liverpool

    May 22, 2015, 8:20 AM EDT

    Liverpool Training Session Liverpool Training Session

    After Sterling’s agent says his client will not sign a new deal at Liverpool, Reds boss is adamant he will remain at Anfield.

  13. MLS preview: Sounders vs. Sporting KC, Revs vs. D.C. United headline Week 12

    May 22, 2015, 7:45 AM EDT

    Dom Dwyer, Sporting Kansas City Dom Dwyer, Sporting Kansas City

    The MLS weekend is upon, and that means just one thing, Americans: It’s time to support your domestic league.

  14. Agent: Rafa Bentiez “would be truly happy” to manage Real Madrid

    May 22, 2015, 12:02 AM EDT

    Rafael Benitez, SSC Napoli Rafael Benitez, SSC Napoli

    Firing one of the world’s elite managers, so you can hire a good-but-not-great replacement? Not smart, Real Madrid, not smart at all.

  15. Scholes: If De Gea leaves, Manchester United should sign Petr Cech

    May 21, 2015, 10:57 PM EDT

    Petr Cech, Chelsea FC Getty Images

    According to Scholes, the solution to Man United’s goalkeeping problem is a no-brainer.

  16. Emmanuel Adebayor given compassionate leave after revealing suicidal thoughts

    May 21, 2015, 9:47 PM EDT

    Emmanuel Adebayor, Tottenham Hotspur FC Emmanuel Adebayor, Tottenham Hotspur FC

    Well done to Tottenham Hotspur for showing the necessary compassion and taking care of one of their own.

  17. US Open Cup draw: Sounders-Timbers, NYCFC-NY Cosmos highlight possible 4th-round clashes

    May 21, 2015, 8:24 PM EDT

    US Open Cup trophy Getty Images

    The draw for the 4th round of the 2015 US Open Cup tossed up a couple of absolute doozies on Thursday night.

  18. Hodgson: England very happy to take Jack Grealish from Ireland, if he so chooses

    May 21, 2015, 7:23 PM EDT

    Jack Grealish, Aston Villa FC Jack Grealish, Aston Villa FC

    Jack Grealish has a big decision to make in the not-so-distant future, and it’s going to affect the course of the rest of his career.

  19. War of words: Henry, Giroud trading jabs over Thierry’s “dull” punditry comments

    May 21, 2015, 5:29 PM EDT

    Olivier Giroud, Arsenal FC Olivier Giroud, Arsenal FC

    Thierry Henry is riding Olivier Giroud very hard these days, claiming Arsenal will never win a PL title with him leading the line.

  20. Poland federation president calls for Russia to be stripped of 2018 World Cup

    May 21, 2015, 3:25 PM EDT

    ZbigniewBoniek Getty Images

    Qatar isn’t the only World Cup host to make others upset.

Featured video

PST Extra: Relegation drama on final day