Calling the police is not a proper reaction to Manchester United losing a Cup tie, nor will they patch you through to Sir Alex Ferguson
Jan 23, 2014, 9:07 AM EST
“Hello you’ve reached the police, how can I help?”
“Yeah, could I speak to Sir Alex Ferguson, please?”
“Not by the 999 line, I’m afraid.”
So begins an entertaining, yet completely inappropriate, call to the GMP Manchester North after Manchester United’s loss to Sunderland in Thursday’s second leg of the Capital One Cup semi-finals. A supporter was so filled with
alcohol disgust at the Red Devils performance that he needed to speak with Sir Alex Ferguson.
And what better way to get a hold of him than by dialing 999 (England’s version of 911)?
The Manchester Evening News has the audio here, and it’s might as well be a radio show’s comedy bit.
After the initial exchange of pleasantries, the caller goes on to ask for his hero again.
CALLER: “Sir Alex Ferguson… the result is all wrong. You have extra time and it was a total and utter load of rubbish.”
OPERATOR: “Sir, you’re actually on the 999 police line. Is there any crime you need to report to the police this evening?”
CALLER: “Yeah, a crime. I’ll report a crime.”
OPERATOR: “And what crime is that?”
CALLER: “The crime is that Manchester United, Manchester United, were absolutely knackered.”
Look, I’d be troubled, too, if I just watched my favorite team put on a show that could’ve been titled, “My First Penalty Kicks,” but I like to think that even a 100 bottles of single malt wouldn’t have me on the horn with the local emergency line (Seriously, the call is funny for the absurdity of it but I don’t need to hear about it happening in your town, despite what Chuck D. might proffer).
If you’re doubting the validity, here’s the Facebook page for the police (who are gifted in both dry humor and social media):
Mar 7, 2014, 5:13 PM EST
Will the Sounders finally win an MLS Cup in 2014? What will happen to Sigi Schmid if it doesn’t happen?
Mar 7, 2014, 4:00 PM EST
Major League Soccer starts it’s big leap next season. In 2014, the league will enjoy the end of an era.
Mar 7, 2014, 3:40 PM EST
Where and how to watch every PL game live during Week 29:
Mar 7, 2014, 3:08 PM EST
With both newcomers and familiar faces, the 2014 MLS season features a jumble of quality at the front of attacks across the league.
Mar 7, 2014, 2:45 PM EST
Former coach Pia Sundhage, in charge of the USWNT when their streak began, guided Sweden to a 1-0 victory in the Algarve Cup – the USMNT’s first defeat in two years.
Mar 7, 2014, 2:03 PM EST
It once seemed incomprehensible that Leo Messi could leave Barcelona. But is it a possibility?
Mar 7, 2014, 1:15 PM EST
Can Kansas City start their defense of the MLS Cup off on the right foot, grabbing a win at Seattle?
Mar 7, 2014, 12:30 PM EST
When Jonathan Walters converted his match-winner, there was only one song on the Stoke supporters minds: Delilah.
Mar 7, 2014, 11:43 AM EST
The regular MLS referees will be locked out of the weekend’s opening games, meaning the league will turn to qualified replacement officials.
Mar 7, 2014, 11:14 AM EST
The Manchester United manager penned a letter to season ticket holders praising their loyalty and promising the club will be great once more.
Mar 7, 2014, 10:25 AM EST
Juventus insist the midfielder isn’t for sale, but with at least three big names sniffing around, will the Italian giants be tempted?
Mar 7, 2014, 9:40 AM EST
Will either Cardiff or Fulham get the three points they so desperately need?
Mar 7, 2014, 8:43 AM EST
Don’t worry, Leo fans: Messi’s reaction during Argentina’s match against Romania was perfectly normal.
Mar 7, 2014, 7:51 AM EST
Will Spurs be able to break the spell José Mourinho has cast over Stamford Bridge?
Mar 7, 2014, 7:01 AM EST
Will United really pay such a high price for young Luke Shaw?
Mar 7, 2014, 2:26 AM EST
Joe Prince-Wright and Mike Prindiville discuss this weekend’s meeting relegation-embattled Cardiff City and Fulham.
Mar 7, 2014, 12:12 AM EST
What definitely will not happen in the upcoming Major League Soccer season.
Mar 6, 2014, 8:45 PM EST
Who’s hot and who’s not? It’s all change in the latest PL Power Rankings, as sides shuffle with 10 games to go:
Mar 6, 2014, 7:54 PM EST
The Supporters’ Shield winners could be without Henry, Cahill, and Olave on Saturday in Vancouver.
Mar 6, 2014, 6:39 PM EST
Atlanta will have to stumble to miss out on expansion, with Minneapolis also looking like a favorite to snare on of the league’s next franchises.
- After monumental rebuild, Seattle Sounders target MLS Cup title. Can Sigi Schmid bring success? 0
- 2014 Season Preview: Welcome to the last year of MLS 2.0 0
- WATCH: Premier League TV Schedule – Week 29 0
- MLS Preview: Seattle Sounders vs. Sporting Kansas City 0
- WATCH: Stoke City fans erupt into “Delilah” chant during win over Arsenal 0
- Premier League Preview: Chelsea vs. Tottenham 1
- Everton is Focused on Beating Arsenal
- Moyes and Martinez Back Cleverley
- Luis Suarez Continues to Say the Right Things
- RSL 2014 Season Preview
- Portland Timbers Season Preview
- Toronto FC Season Preview
- Duvall, Oyongo & Stevenson Sign Contracts with NY Red Bulls
- Moyes Writes Open Letter to Man United Fans
- San Jose Earthquakes: Players To Watch In 2014 Season
- A Good Start Would Go A Long Way for the Chicago Fire