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MLS back in Miami: Where does it rate on the league’s glamour scale?

Feb 5, 2014, 12:01 PM EDT

Beckham spoke passionately about why he chose to put his MLS franchise in Miami. Reuters

Glamour doesn’t have to mean new and shiny, but it sure helps. So with the confirmation that MLS is coming to Miami — for real this time, not Fort Lauderdale — on the wings of David Beckham, where does this new franchise rank on Major League Soccer’s long-existing (at least four minutes) glamour scale?

If we use the definition of “an air of compelling charm, romance, and excitement, especially when delusively alluring,” then here’s a “Blink” top-of-mind list of the league’s top six (tongue planted firmly in cheek):

source:  1. New York City Football Club – New? Check. Connections to Yankees and Manchester City? Check. Shiny manager coup? Check. New York hype? Duh. Hard to argue against the light blue as the flavor of the month, even considering they won’t play anytime soon.

2. Toronto FC - Yes, I know, I know… and I’m from Buffalo, sworn enemies of all things Toronto Maple Leafy. But you can’t deny that their long-ardent supporters are finally getting their due and that many new fans will turn their eyes to Michael Bradley and Jermain Defoe.

3. The Real Fighting Beckhams of South Beach United FC - It’s pronounced “Ray-all” and they have David Beckham, sunny weather and, most importantly, beautiful people who are already used to taking a team’s greatness for absolute granted. Also, something about Pitbull?

4. New York Red Bulls - Shouldn’t they be above NYCFC, especially considering that they are actually playing soccer, doing it fairly well and have Thierry bleeping Henry in their ranks? Plus, even though I love their cheeky “celebrity fans” slide show, they have a celebrity fans slide show.

5. Los Angeles Galaxy - It’d be fair to put them higher, but we’re talking glamour here. In the fashion world, if a top designer fled town to set up his shop somewhere else… wouldn’t L.A. become sooooooo 2010?

6. Portland Timbers - Logs and chainsaws, friends. Logs and chainsaws. In my world of glamorizing all that is everyman, logs and chainsaws are the way to go.

Who’s missing? Philly? Montreal? Orlando?

  1. danielofthedale - Feb 5, 2014 at 12:27 PM

    Well I think Seattle is more “glamourous” than Portland in MLS terms. I would also switch LA and TFC. I still think Los Angeles is a bigger draw to big name imports than Toronto.

  2. geojock - Feb 5, 2014 at 2:30 PM

    I love how he doesnt even mention Seattle in his final “Who’s missing? Philly? Montreal? Orlando?”. Just baiting the Flounder fans.

  3. dfstell - Feb 5, 2014 at 4:09 PM

    Hahahaha…..you are going ten tons of comments from jilted Seattle fans AND forever be branded as anti-Seattle. :)

    Of course, trolling Seattle fans IS kinda fun….

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