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Russian politicians want US kicked out of World Cup because US politicians want Russia kicked out of World Cup

Mar 12, 2014, 10:51 AM EDT


Politicians seem to have an uncanny knack for knowing precious little about sports. We need more than our fingers and toes to count the number of times one of the elected elite have mispronounced a player’s name, placed a team in the wrong sport or speculated on how many touchdowns it would take to get a penalty kick in the tie game rivalry.

Wait, that last part was a Postal Service lyric.

In any event, a pair of Russian lawmakers are pretty ticked off with a pair of American lawmakers, who are pretty ticked off at Russia for its actions in the turmoil of Ukraine.

Last week, US Republican senators Mark Kirk and Dan Coats sent a letter to FIFA president Sepp Blatter asking that soccer’s governing body kick Russia out of the 2014 World Cup and take the rights to host the 2018 tournament away from them.

So then Russia was all like, “No. YOU should be out of the World Cup, jerks.”

From the AFP:

“We ask you to call an extraordinary FIFA meeting and suspend USA’s FIFA membership and to expel their national side from playing in the 2014 World Cup,” said the letter by the two State Duma deputies from President Vladimir Putin’s ruling United Russia party.

The letter said action was needed after the US “aggression against several sovereign states like Yugoslavia, Iraq and Libya” and attempts “to occupy Syria.”

I’m sure Blatter is going to spend loads of time with the letters. And by spend loads of time, I mean go watch Netflix.

We here at Pro Soccer Talk have a great solution: a 2v2 match between teams comprised of Kirk and Coats, as well as the two Russian MPs: Alexander Sidyakin and Mikhail Markelov. Or they could just make one of those awesome political bets where if Russia gets kicked out of the World Cup, the United States gets 50 bowls of Okroshka, while if the States get kicked out, Russia gets 83 pounds of chicken wings.

  1. jcmeyer10 - Mar 12, 2014 at 11:20 AM

    A pleasant distraction from the mess that could be the 2014 World Cup in Brasil.

    • Comrade23 - Mar 12, 2014 at 11:56 AM

      Seriously, I wouldn’t be there on a bet. I value my life more than a group stage exit from USMNT.

  2. geojock - Mar 12, 2014 at 11:36 AM

    I guess its also a distraction from the mess that is 2014 America.

  3. midtec2005 - Mar 12, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    “I’m sure Blatter is going to spend loads of time with the letters. And by spend loads of time, I mean go watch Netflix.”

    I’d love to hear him say this, it would be hilarious.

    “Mr. Blatter what are your thoughts on the Russian complaint?”

    “What? Oh yeah, I would answer that but I have an episode the Walking Dead to watch, sorry.”

  4. talgrath - Mar 12, 2014 at 3:53 PM

    Why do I feel like I never left grade school when I read about international politics? It’s always “nation x expelled six diplomats of nation y because nation y expelled three diplomats from nation x”; the tit for tat would be amusing if it wasn’t for the fact that real things like nuclear annihilation and saving people from repressive regimes wasn’t involved.

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