Mar 29, 2014, 8:28 AM EDT
Only six weeks of Premier League left so it’s time to get your predictions Trump-tight.
Here, I do my best to steer you in the right direction… and fail with gusto.
Manchester United v. Aston Villa (Sat 8:45am ET on NBCSN; Old Trafford)
All eyes on Old Trafford today when United supporters are planning to fly over a banner reading “Wrong One – Moyes Out”. If that doesn’t make things pop off, losing to Villa certainly should.
Manchester United 1 Aston Villa 2
Sunderland v. West Ham United (Mon 3:00pm ET on NBCSN; Stadium of Light)
Channeling Jozy Altidore for this to be his breakout match on the way to saving the Black Cats from relegation and launching the USMNT into a deep World Cup run.
Hey, a man can dream, can’t he?
Sunderland 2 West Ham 1
Crystal Palace v. Chelsea (Sat 11:00am ET on NBCSN; Selhurst Park)
Target practice for Chelsea.
Crystal Palace 0 Chelsea 4
Southampton v. Newcastle United (Sat 11:00am ET on Live Extra; St Mary’s)
My sleeper pick for match of the week, these sides have nothing better to do than launch all out attacks on each other. Expect the sexy style of Southampton to win out.
Southampton 3 Newcastle 2
Arsenal v. Manchester City (Sat 1:30pm ET on NBC; Emirates Stadium)
Life’s not fair, Arsenal fans, but just remember it could be worse. At least you’re not United supporters.
Arsenal 1 Manchester City 4
Fulham v. Everton (Sun 8:30 ET on NBCSN; Craven Cottage)
Ssshhh. The Toffees are coming for 4th.
Fulham 0 Everton 3
Liverpool v. Tottenham Hotspur (Sun 11:00am ET on NBCSN; Anfield)
Murmurings of Liverpool’s title aspirations will become full blown shouts when they dump out Tim Sherwood’s band of bunglers.
Liverpool 4 Tottenham 1
SQUEAKY BUM TIME
Stoke City v. Hull City (Sat 11:00am ET on Live Extra; Britannia Stadium)
Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
Oh won’t you please take me doooown… to Stoke City.
Make that a chant, Potters supporters, and I will forever love thee.
Stoke City 2 Hull City 1
Swansea City v. Norwich City (Sat 11:00am ET on Live Extra; Liberty Stadium)
“Don’t know about you guys but I’ve been waiting all season for that Swansea/Norwich match.”
Such words have never been uttered until I came into work at 5am this morning and my EVS operator looked me dead in the eye and said it. Guess that’s what happens when your favorite player in the world is Robert Snodgrass.
Decent player, Snodgrass. Face only a mother could love.
Swansea City 3 Norwich City 2
West Bromwich Albion v. Cardiff City (Sat 11:00am ET on Live Extra; The Hawthorns)
Boing, Boing. Ride strong the Albion!
West Brom 1 Cardiff City 0
- Julian Draxler’s stunning performance puts Chelsea, Premier League on high alert 0
- Yaya Toure’s lackluster display stands out as Manchester City struggle 1
- UEFA Champions League roundup: Roma, Porto win big; Chelsea, PSG slip up 0
- Chelsea 1-1 Schalke 04: Huntelaar secures point for the underdogs 0
- Bayern Munich 1-0 Manchester City: Last-gasp win for Bayern in Bavaria 1
- Men In Blazers podcast: A happy PL return, while Spencer Lanning talks ‘football’ 0