May 21, 2014, 1:59 PM EST
A Dutch web site has put together a hilarious-because-it’s-pretty-serious list of advice points for British press in dealing with notoriously ornery manager Louis van Gaal.
Van Gaal, hired by Manchester United earlier this week, will adjust to the British media pretty quickly, but NRC.NL says the press needs to be prepared for the manager doing everything from repurposing the English language to giving them death stares in addition to terse replies.
Here’s one of the 10 bits of advice, from NRC.NL:
5. It’s his language now, not yours Mr. Van Gaal will come up with new additions to the Oxford Dictionary. In Germany, he inadvertently (or was it?) introduced the phrase Der Tod oder die Gladiolen, a Dutch saying meaning literally “death or the gladioli”: all or nothing. This is because if Mr. Van Gaal speaks your language, it is no longer your language, it’s his. It is not Mr. Van Gaal who has trouble speaking English, it is you, for not going along with his obviously much better interpretation of it.
It’s a fun read, and helps us to realize that if Manchester United managerial quotes weren’t enough to garner media and fan buzz, Louis van Gaal Manchester United managerial quotes are going to take these things next level.
- Rodgers says Balotelli needs to vastly improve before playing for Liverpool 0
- Italy head coach Antonio Conte supports Sebastian Giovinco’s move to MLS 7
- USMNT U-20s defeat El Salvador, 2-0, qualify for 2015 U-20 World Cup 1
- Jurgen Klinsmann names 23-man roster for USMNT friendlies vs. Chile, Panama 0
- Africa Cup of Nations roundup: Ivory Coast, Cameroon in 1-1 draws as Group D up for grabs 0
- Mourinho on loss: “Me and the players must feel ashamed” 0