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Witch doctor claims he caused Cristiano Ronaldo’s knee injury

Jun 4, 2014, 9:40 PM EDT

Portugal Soccer Champions League Final AP

A Ghanian witch doctor has is claiming responsibility for the knee injury that is threatening to keep Cristiano Ronaldo out of the 2014 World Cup.

Nana Kwaku Bonsam, whose name translates literally to “Devil of Wednesday”, predicted last December that he would inflict a severe injury on the Portuguese winger that would rule him out of this summer’s contest.

“I know what Cristiano Ronaldo’s injury is about, I’m working on him,” said Bonsam in an interview with the Kumasi-based Angel FM.

“I am very serious about it. Last week, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam.

“I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World up or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out though injury.

“This injury can never be cured by any medic, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else.”

The final concoction that Bonsam drew up to take down the mighty Cristiano involves a special powder from his gods, mixed with several leaves and concoctions which have been placed around an image and caricature of the player.

 

  1. jslip1 - Jun 4, 2014 at 9:42 PM

    I guess Ghana had to beat Portugal at something.

  2. mknow406a - Jun 4, 2014 at 10:19 PM

    It’s a good thing we got drawn with Portugal then… would hate for that to be Bradley…

  3. rphillish - Jun 4, 2014 at 11:00 PM

    Check’s in the mail Bonsam.
    Seriously though, Ronaldo not playing would be a huge lose for this tournament. I hope he’s fit in a week.

  4. ravenseers - Jun 5, 2014 at 12:10 AM

    Ronaldo doesn’t give a rat ass about Portugal, he knows there is no chance to win the WC, that’s why he risked all playing injured to win the Champions League. His ego will never let him be a teams player. That is why God punished him with Lionel Messi, so CR7 will always be #2.

  5. afootballblog - Jun 5, 2014 at 1:32 AM

    Ahhh the World Cup ridiculousness begins.

  6. atahualpaoxford - Jun 5, 2014 at 5:57 AM

    The #@%&* english didn’t need a witch doctor to try to keep Luis Suarez out of the World Cup altogether…or at the very least of the their game against Uruguay…
    Glad that Argentina is not in the same group as Ghana…for Messi’s sake…

  7. thedeadlockvictim - Jun 5, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    Shame about the dogs, but… does he take PayPal?

  8. Greg - Jun 5, 2014 at 10:39 AM

    You just don’t hear about Witch Doctor shenanigans in US sports, at least not since the days of Pedro Cerrano in Cleveland

  9. tomcatfl - Jun 5, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    Mark my words…the German octopus will take this witch doctor down

  10. geojock - Jun 5, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    If the witch doctor was smart he would have said he would keep Landon Donovan out of the world cup too. BTW if Bonsam is so sure he injured Ronaldo, then should he be arrested for assault?

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