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USA Soccer Guy’s World Cup song has claimed victory for all of us

Jun 5, 2014, 12:59 PM EST

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I’m a bit of a music nerd/jerk, meaning I waste dough on buy vinyl records that I already own on CD or mp3 and everything. So when I tell you that I’ve been listening to one song over and over and over this afternoon, you know I’m giving you the real deal on an up-and-coming artist.

Maybe you’ve heard of USA Soccer Guy and follow him on Twitter. Maybe you’re one of the people who’ve been duped by his Tweets into thinking it’s a serious account. Maybe you’re unaware of the bliss that awaits you.

Well, USA Soccer Guy, American soccer fan that he is, has penned a country-rock-rap single to kick off the World Cup properly, entitled “Kick That Soccer Ball.”

It’s perfect.

My top three lines:

1) “Thanks, buddy, for the real nice soccer.”

2) “The world’s a soccer ball, spinning forever and ever.”

3) “Four years, one cup, turn the awesome up.”

He’s really upped his game for the World Cup, because following him during the Premier League season was incredibly enjoyable. The England shirt pictured above is one of the funniest of his creative bunch.

I’m honestly unsure that this song isn’t the culmination of everything soccer’s founders envisioned for the sport.

  1. dws110 - Jun 5, 2014 at 1:37 PM

    Well, that will be stuck in my head all day.

    • Nicholas Mendola - Jun 5, 2014 at 2:25 PM

      Turn the awesome up.

  2. rphillish - Jun 5, 2014 at 6:28 PM

    I feel like “thanks buddy, for the real nice soccer” is the purest thing ever said about this sport.
    No matter how much you win or lose by, at the end of the day you can always be like, “Thanks buddy, for the real nice soccer”.

  3. braxtonrob - Jun 5, 2014 at 8:38 PM

    Was this song written for Kindergartners?

    If this is how we have to appeal to the (other) American sports fans, …. then let’s just skip it! We don’t need them THAT bad. Please let them go back to their passionate (moronic) hatred of the sport (so the rest of us real fans can continue to ignore them all in peace).

  4. godsholytrousers - Jun 9, 2014 at 2:59 PM

    yikes

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