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That report on FIFA’s World Cup bribery scandal? You won’t see it

Sep 5, 2014, 8:42 AM EDT

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If a 350-page report covering 200,000 pages worth of material is never read by anyone but FIFA, can it make a sound?

BBC chief sports correspondant Dan Roan says the investigation done by lawyer Michael Garcia included interviews with 75 witnesses and included more than 200,000 pages of material, yielding a 350-page report that’s now been delivered to FIFA.

Now the report has hit the desk of FIFA’s “ethics judge” (though you’re unlikely to ever lay eyes on it). Feel free to commence chuckling, but both Garcia and judge Hans-Joachim Eckert were both appointed to their roles in 2012 to combat issues just like these.

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The awarding of the 2022 World Cup to Qatar has been called “a brilliant mistake”,  while myriad human rights issues have clouded the decision to give Russia the 2018 tournament.

Oh, and there’s that whole bribery thing. We could legitimately have a category on this site devoted to the term “bribery”.

Now prepare yourself for 200,000 pages of material, 75 witnesses and a 350-page report that expose… that everything was done by the book and the World Cups are staying in their originally-awarded locations (that’s how bribes work, you know). What do you expect to come from this? Surely FIFA is defiant enough to stick with the locations, but will any punishments be doled out? Jobs be removed.

You could certainly envision a couple of people fired for their actions but FIFA to deem that “too much preparation has already been done to strip the World Cup from Russia or Qatar.”

  1. dfstell - Sep 5, 2014 at 8:58 AM

    I really don’t know what people expect. This is like when Congress does an ethics investigation on a member and they don’t want to do anything too harsh, because the investigators themselves are probably corrupt and are half-way looking at the accused for fresh tips on how to be more corrupt.

    This is window dressing to make people feel like a band-aid has been applied.

    The only way the WC moves from any location is if commercial interests get too noisy about it.

  2. jslip1 - Sep 5, 2014 at 9:44 AM

    The illustrious non-profit, FIFA, just saw their cash holdings go from $1 billion to $1.5 billion all to prevent public release of this report.

  3. lewpuls - Sep 5, 2014 at 10:07 AM

    A bunch of old men who were never professionally involved in soccer got control of a huge cash-cow, which they treat as their “family”, and they do whatever they want. Only when someone rocks the boat (Warner and that presidential candidate from Asia) do they get slapped. That’s FIFA. No surprise here. When the pres had a huge slush fund that he can allocate however he wants, what do you think happens? But it’s the way things are done in FIFA so it isn’t a “bribe” per se . . . .

    • mogogo1 - Sep 5, 2014 at 11:55 AM

      It is just like the mafia… only the mafia is less corrupt!

  4. mikeevergreen - Sep 5, 2014 at 11:45 AM

    I think it is time that the Court for the Arbitration of Sport to get involved. An Interpol raid perhaps?

  5. cafetero1075 - Sep 5, 2014 at 2:21 PM

    I have a higher opinion of ISIS and The Kardashians than I do of FIFA.

    • shadowshand - Sep 5, 2014 at 3:07 PM

      Well, the Kardashians for sure.

  6. talgrath - Sep 5, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    Wikileaks maybe?

  7. Savage Ron - Sep 5, 2014 at 4:09 PM

    Where’s Snowden when you need him?

  8. drewsylvania - Sep 5, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    Moral: F**k all megacorps.

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